Every once in a while, I get into these random bouts of depression and sit down with myself, thinking about what's going on in my life.

Today, my aunt told me that my other aunt in Manila is working for Globe Communications, selling SIM cards. Globe is one of the most well known telecommunications company in the country. And then this other aunt of mine said, "That's good. When she's settled, maybe she can help you get a job there."

I know I should be working now. At 20, I'm jobless and I spend every single day inside the house, talking to the same people, watching the same TV programs. Every. Single. Day. I'm miserable at best, and there's nothing I want more at this moment than to have a job so I can at least earn my own money and stop being a burden at home, but there's a catch, I don't want to stay in Manila and live with my aunt's family. They're nice, especially my cousins, but I don't want to feel like a visitor all the time. If I'm to work anywhere, I want to live on my own and hold my time in my hands.

Honestly, I have no idea where my life's headed right now. It's really almost shocking how one single mistake changes one's life forever. I wish I'd studied harder. If I had, maybe I'll be in the US right now with my friends, or in Singapore...Somewhere, anywhere...Moving, working, living. Not stuck in this small town,waiting for my fortune to play out.


Regret, as they say, is a bitter pill to swallow, but I'm sucking it up cause I know it's all my fault. All I need right now is one more chance to push myself to the limits, stand on the edge, feel the wind in my face, and tell myself that finally, I'm free again.