Everything just feels so wrong today. I'm very sad, and I've been crying since morning. My tears just won't stop falling. It's one of those days when I wish my life was a video game, so I could skip today and see if tomorrow is any better.
I wonder what happened to me. I used to be so happy about things, and now all I feel is this sensation is my chest that feels like someone's pricking my heart with a thousand needles, deeper and deeper until I bleed red and never be able to feel the next wave of pain. I've thought about drinking a bottle of ant poison or dish washing liquid, honestly, I have, but I'm too scared of losing my breath that I never actually did it.
I want this suffering to end. I want to stop picturing my own funeral in my head. I always think about what everyone would say about me when I'm dead. Would they finally see how hard I've tried to reach out to them? How I spend my whole life worrying that they're not happy with me? Why I did all the things I did that disappointed them? Yes, I am to blame. But am I the only one? Am I really alone in this?
No comments:
Post a Comment