Team chill the fuck out and let the girl have the jacket.

It has only been a few weeks since I finished reading Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist after seeing it featured on my favorite teen magazine's website. Needless to say, I fell in love with the book, so I decided to see the movie.

It would be nice to go out and enjoy your teenage years not worrying about whether your parents are staying up waiting for you on the doorstep, and the only problem you'd have to deal with is the fact that your bitch of a best friend, whom you love dearly and always look for, is drunk again, and you are both in dire need of a ride home.

Now, enter the cute band member you've been checking out the whole night, and a crazy classmate who just won't get off your back and keeps rubbing it in your face that you don't have a boyfriend, and it should be even more fun.

This movie has something in it that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it's my love for New York city, or that I'm undeniably a sucker for young love, and even those aren't enough to stop me from noticing the empty pauses; those moments when the actor seem to have nothing to say to each other despite the memorized scripts and given lines. Then again, it is a little clear in the book that our main characters are suffering from low self esteems, deliberately caused by their heartless exes who both showed up at the same place in one night. Still, I loved it.

Apart from the fact (it's given) that Norah is beautiful and Nick has a cute smile, I also can't help but love the other characters. There's Caroline, who's drunk for like 4/5 of the movie. Nick's friends are awesome. Tris is a bitch and Tal is an ass, but like I always say, exes are generally annoying. Some scenes made me laugh because of the bad jokes, and some scenes (specifically, the phone booth / restaurant one) made me wish I had someone to watch this movie with.

It also has a great soundtrack. I'm not even kidding when I say that. The opening credits rolled, and immediately, I'm hooked. I would have watched it solely for the music, it is that musically inclined, but the movie is interesting too. They gave it a different spin from the book, so that you don't really know what to expect even if you've read it.

All in all, I'll give it a 4 out of 5.

My Tired Heart Is Beating So Slow.

There must be something wrong with me. I keep losing my friends,it's not even funny. It's breaking my heart.

Tonight,more than ever,I miss my childhood. I miss being so carefree that the hardest choice to make would be which pair of socks to wear.I remember those things. Lacey, ruffled at the edges,where my stick thin shins began. I remember crying because I wanted t sit on a red chair in class and unfortunately, every red chair in the room was taken.

I miss my Dad. I miss him asking me if I wanted an ice cream cone,I miss him throwing me in the air,and catching me just before I hit the ground.The times I spent with him were numbered,each one remembered clearly because they're all rare. I miss the sound of his faded blue jeans rubbing against each other while his feet trailed on the rice fields,hitting dew kissed grass on the way while he carried me sitting on his shoulders,a paperweight porcelain doll clinging on to his tattered baseball cap for support.

I miss my Mom. I miss the way she would reprimand me for forgetting about what she asked me to do again. I miss how she once made me say vinegar over and over again before asking me to buy it from the store,and how her face turned when she saw me walking home with nothing because on the way, I was singing vinegar, vinegar to a tune I made up, and then occasionally sang soy sauce,and got confused about which I needed to buy.

I miss being so innocent that nothing anyone says makes me suspicious. Now, I dissect every word I hear or read and scrutinize them carefully, trying to figure out which is true and which isn't. It's sad how the world makes monsters of each one of us.I used to kick myself silently each time I cursed.Now,I do it as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

I feel so lonely. I just want to curl up and cry,but even my tears refuse me.I regret all the bad things I've said in my life.I wonder what good they did me. I just don't feel myself right now and I hate it. I have this strange feeling of dreading something and wishing time would just freeze,but at the same time,I'm wishing it would just tick away mercilessly so I could get it all over with.


My heart is so broken.

With Every Breath I Take,I'm Calling Your Name

Sara: You don't have to understand. You just have to have faith.
Jonathan: Faith in what?
Sara: Destiny.

I'm in that incredible mood tonight wherein all I want to do is stay in bed and watch some sappy old movies for the umpteenth time,and cry. Cry for the tragedies, cry for the happy endings. I'm that type of girl.

I've been busy dealing with life these past few days,and even I myself can't say exactly how I truly feel. I'm confused. It's October, today is Ham's birthday, and I just sent her a greeting through text. I was meaning to ask her to maybe have lunch with me or something, but she was busy with exams.

On my way home I bumped to Shiela,one of my high school classmates. In the old times, maybe a year or two ago,we would be chatting endlessly and it would be hard to bid farewell. This afternoon, we barely spoke to each other. It still surprises me sometimes when things change so abruptly. I guess I'll never be ready for change.

Anyway, I'm not feeling very well so I plan to stay home and make myself some nice tasting soup, anything to warm my rambling stomach, and just lay in bed watching old movies. I pretty much deserve that-a break. My throat is itchy,my nose is runny, and I can't even breathe properly. What a nice state to be in on a Friday night.

I don't like the heat at all. It's October,for God's sake. My skin is aching for the cool Christmas breeze.Sure,there's the Christmas breeze but it's not cool at all. It's very warm. The air,however,smells of dried rice stalks. It's making me nostalgic at times. How I miss running through the fields or just hanging out with my uncles there. One day, it will happen again.

I'm not really excited for anything right now. I'm in that time in my life when I just want to find love in a certain form. I feel so lonely. Sometimes I wish I could just sleep it all of, in the hopes that one day I'll wake up to my fairy tale. But life doesn't work that way,so I'll just wait and enjoy my alone time. Everyone's life sucks...it just depends on how a person deals with it.

 Nowadays,I see a lot of people moaning about how their lives are so hard to live,how they just want to end it all. I was like that a few months ago. Now,I realize how selfish it sounds. Why do people like hurting so much? Why do we keep complaining about the things we don't have,when we have something and others don't even have anything? Why,just like I'm doing now, do we point out how some people are so dramatic,how we don't like drama,when clearly,we all are drama queens and kings somehow? You know... I just learned to shield myself away from all the horrible things in this world. If I can't heal it,no way in hell will I let myself be infected. That will be the last help I can offer.

Nothing can hurt me unless I permit it.

Tonight Will Be The Night That I Will Fall For You.

Another timed post from me. I just don't feel like publishing this right now,so bear.

I just hung out with my family yesterday. Hung out doesn't seem to be the right word to use though, when you spent two hours on the mechanic's, waiting for your ride to get fixed, but that was the closest we had to hanging out.

We went to Jollibee after that and bought take home meals. Ate Rachel was working there. I lined up on the counter she served and when it was time to give her my order,I was so giddy I had to stop myself from bursting into fits of laughter. She and I are close (she's my Mom's half sister) and you know, having her tell me "Can I get your order,Ma'am" in a very formal manner was just too much for my little heart to handle, when usually when I am in their house she would always pick on me and call me silly names. Revenge is truly sweet. Heheh.

Anyway, so yeah she took my order and I said two TLC burgers with fries and Coke, one cheeseburger, one spaghetti with fries and coke, and one chocolate Sundae. I was surprised when my take out bags arrived and they had four TLC burgers.. -,- She punched my order wrong, so I paid four instead of two B3 meals. Guess she was giddy too. Ha.

Yeyey was with me all day. She has changed a lot in the course of three years. Gosh,I sound like a mother or something but she really has. I remember I just had a talk with my Mom on the phone and she was like "Do you still hang out with Yeyey? Does she still wet the bed and the couch?" LOL. It was strange when I realized it. I have been with the little girl all her life. She doesn't wet the couch or the bed now, but she's growing up spoiled and bossy. She keeps ordering everyone around. Sounds like....me.

My sister has been pestering me about her money. I owe her Php25.00 (half a dollar,haha) which, in my defense, we used to buy a pack of tea powder and ice that we had for lunch. So I did not pay her yet but I will, promise. :P

On the 3oth it's our Patron Saint's festival day. Bah, I will sponsor another baby's Christening and I don't have even just a small amount of money. Maybe my grandmother will take care of that. It's kind of fun here,these days. It's a shame I don't get to scour the shops outside (there are rows of tents of vendors selling EVERYTHING by the roadside on the highway at this time every year). On Thursday there'll be visitors and people I really don't know who will come over our house to eat and such. I'm a little excited.

Hmm what else? Oh,yeah,that song. The title of this post is another song lyric I ripped off Secondhand Serenade's "Fall For You". My PSP just randomly blasted it out yesterday and since there was that warm September Christmas season kind of breeze, I felt like it was 2008! Certain songs remind me of certain seasons in certain years. Fra Lippo Lippi's "Later", for example, reminds me of 2002's Summer when my Mom came home and it was my father's favorite song. Matchbox 20's "Unwell" reminds me of 2003, like Stephen Speaks' "Out of My League". Trading Yesterday's songs will always remind me of Summer 2010. "Fall For You" was all over the radios back in 2008, and it reminds me of CLSU's Lantern Parade that year that I spent with my ex-boyfriend. We were hanging out with his friends in his car, and that song was playing on the background. I can't remember the feeling anymore,though.

Is It Even Worth It?

Whatever you love the most,you fear might be lost-you know it can change.Why do you look from left to right when you cross the street? Because you're afraid you might get run over. But you still cross the street.

I'm An Empty Cup.

Every day I write the book
And how the story changes,
The people come and go
The feelings stay the same

Tell me whats wrong
Show me the moon that I fell from
Help me to find where I belong,
Here on this earth

Its getting harder to return
All the lessons I have learned
The knowledge I have gained,
Somehow the tables turned

Was I lost out in space?
Was I looking to find an altered state
Wanting to save the human race?
Here on this earth

I weighted it down
Across my heart
But when I fell back
I had no start

I have to pretend
To make my amends
But I must admit

This was not my plan
This was not my plan
This was not my way at all
This was not my plan...

Guess I'd Rather Hurt Than feel Nothing At All

I missed my 12,000th tweet. :( I was planning to dedicate it to who else but Andrea and Caitie and Ashley? Yes, it's official. I am obsessed with them. I should have admitted it ages ago but I've only come to that realization now.

I don't know what's wrong with me. As the song above says, I am tied together with a smile.Whether I am coming undone or not,though,I have no idea. All I know is that I am fine (I think).

I really don't have that much to say. I think, I am on the road of acceptance, taking each blow as they come without any complaint. But I'm afraid I've lost my shine,if you know what I mean. I think I became more serious,more mature...Sometimes. Other than that, it's still me,being myself.

I will blog again when I've stepped on an inspiration. I'm tired now,kind of. Although I didn't do anything tiring all day. I just need to procrastinate.

Hello,My Name Is...Tranquil

Today has been very peaceful and unproductive.This is a day I enjoyed.It was quiet and calm...except for the hot weather.

I was sleeping in bed until 10:47, I know it was the exact time I opened my eyes, because I looked at my cellphone first thing.The scorching heat awoke me.I was still very sleepy but I could not go back to slumberland because I was bathing in my own sweat.I have just learned that it is not practical to wear shirts during Summer in the Philippines.

So I sat up in my bed, then faced my computer immediately,like the usual. Twitter,Blogger,Facebook,Yahoo Mail,MSN.I'm a great procrastinator,ain't I?

I replied to my Fanfiction reviews,wrote a blog entry,then chatted with some friends. I headed out for lunch,took a bath,then went back to my room to procrastinate some more.No place else could ever give me this calm and relaxed feeling,other than my room.I felt so in touch with my inner self, writing,listening to great music...It's bliss.

I stayed here all day,talking to myself.Paradise.For the first time in weeks,I felt almost like myself again...Cause this past few days,I've changed a lot.Now I guess I'm back on track.I just need to sort some things out,and all will be good again. ;) Just saying...

And oh, Happy Good Friday everyone!

Weekend In New England

Rules:

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

You Alone Are God - Hillsongs United

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

The Man In Love With You - Rascal Flatts

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Swimming In Miami - Owl City

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Baby I'm A Want You - Bread (What? Haha)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

I'm You - Leona Lewis (Cool)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts (What the hell?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Warmth of The Sand - Dashboard Confessional

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Try - Nelly Furtado (Accurate, darn)

WHAT IS 2+2?

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson (Doesn't make any sense at all)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

The Best Day - Taylor Swift (Wow!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

I'll Be Loving You Forever - Westlife (I swear I grinned viciously at this!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Happy - Leona Lewis (Agree!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Meteor Shower - Owl City

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Close To You - The Carpenters (Darn, this is trying to tell me something!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

A Place In This World - Taylor Swift (Can possibly be true)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Angel - Sarah Mclachlan (No way, it's a sad song...)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Fuzzy Blue Lights - Owl City (It's okay.I actually like the song.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Bust Your Windows - Glee (LMFAO)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Footprints in The Sand - Leona Lewis (This got me thinking. It's true!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Shattered - Trading Yesterday (God! This is so accurate, how come?! I swear I am not cheating!)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

River Flows In You - Yiruma (I don't know, it's instrumental.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Forever In Love - Kenny G.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Feels Like Home - Edwina Hayes

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Don't Fall In Love With A Dreamer - Kenny Rodgers

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds To Mars

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Can't Fight This Feeling - Glee (WTF?!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

You Found Me - The Fray

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts

POST THIS AS?

Weekend In New England - Barry Manilow

Maybe Someday You Will Come True

I may or I may not know you yet.
This may be a feeling I'll later regret.
But wherever you are,I want you to know what's true.
Awake or dreaming, I'm waiting for you.

:[

Shattered

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding.
Fall into your sunlight.
The future's open wide, beyond believing.
To know why hope dies.
Losing what was found, a world so hollow.
Suspended in a compromise.
The silence of this sound is soon to follow.
Somehow, sundown.

And finding answers.
Is forgetting all of the questions we called home.
Passing the graves of the unknown.

As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading.
Illusions of the sunlight.
And a reflection of a lie will keep me waiting.
With love gone, for so long.

And this day's ending.
Is the proof of time killing all the faith I know.
Knowing that faith is all I hold.

And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand.
Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love, without love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on.
But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning.
Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart.
Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent.

All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain.
All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over.
There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones.
To the place we belong, and His love will conquer all.

Yesterday I died, tomorrow's bleeding.
Fall into your sunlight.

Ashley,

I used to believe that everything happens in its own time. I thought if I was destined to be successful, one day, I will be. Thank you for making me realize that in order to gain my pot of gold, I would have to chase the rainbow. If not for you, I wouldn’t have seen so many things in a different perspective. Just ignore what the others have to say. To me, you will always be the best actress around. You will always be the brightest star in my sky. You’ve touched so many lives, including mine…and I will forever be grateful that even if I don’t get the chance to ever meet you, at least I have had the chance to know you. I’ll always look up to you, no matter what happens.

Andrea,

You are one of the best people to ever walk on earth. I can’t even possibly express how much I love and respect you for being so nice to us, even if you don’t know us personally. Your good deeds and kind words will forever be etched in my heart, no matter where I go. I just don’t understand why I have this feeling that somehow, something is bothering you…Like a constant cloud of loneliness hovers above you.. I’m not sure, but whatever it is, I hope you won’t ever end up feeling alone… Cause no matter how far away I am, I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. You don’t know me personally, but you have altered my way of living. Whenever I want to complain about something, I just think of you, and then I’ll be grateful for whatever I have. Thank you, Andrea, for being a beautiful person, inside and out.

Caitie,

Before, I was always insecure and jealous of what others have and I don’t. The best lesson I’ve learned so far in life, I learned from you: To just be myself and be happy with it. I used to strive hard to be like everyone else, to make them see me differently. But you changed that. You might not know it, but because of you, I’ve learned to accept my flaws and imperfections, and I’ve even come to embrace, if not love them, cause they are the things that make me unique. I used to spend all my time wondering what might have been if things had been different, but you taught me that life goes like this: no regrets, just lessons learned. You made me believe that everything good that were gone will be replaced with better ones, and for that reason alone, I love you. Thank you for inspiring me to become the best version of myself, I’ll always owe it to you.

My life is not perfect, and it never will be. I’m not a princess, but I’m just as lucky. Everyday of my life is a struggle. Sometimes, all I want to do is to break down and cry, because I know I have the right to. But instead, I choose to live the best way I can, drawing my strength from you, and instantly, I’m alright. Thank you so much for making me see how beautiful life really is, and how blessed I am. When you feel like no one’s there, just think of this: somewhere, somehow, someone loves you, and believes in you. I do.

Kismet

I made this a long long time ago. September 9,12009. Quite epic, 09/09/09 LOL.
I remember this was exactly how I was feeling that time. Song's Kismet by Silent Sanctuary.

Got It From Glee.

"Every man has his own destiny;
The only imperative is to follow it, accept it,
No matter where it leads him."
-Henry Miller

I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
I've been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find

And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me!!

:">

LOVEloveLOVE <3>

Words Hardly Fail,But Somehow,Sometimes,They are Not Enough.

No,I can't run from the past.
I'm holding on to a dream that won't last.

And now it's too late.
Time did not wait.
Baby,it's better left unsaid.

I wish that you somehow knew
that deep inside,
I feel the same way too.

Can't Get Over This.Might As Well Share It.

The first time I Loved forever..
Was when you whispered my name
And I knew at once you Loved me
For the me of whom I am

The first time i loved forever
I cast all else aside
And i bid my heart to follow
Be there no more need to hide

And if wishes and dreams..
Are merely for children
And.. if loves a tale for fools
I'll live the dream with you.
For all my life and forever..
There's a truth i will always know
When my world divides and shatters..
Your love is where i'll go

Sleep Playlist

Carry You Home-James Blunt
Feels Like Home-Edwina Haynes
1234-Plain White Tees
Possibility-Lykke Li
A White Demon Love Song-The Killers
If My Heart was a House-Owl City
Bless the Broken Road-Rascall Flats
Amazing-Regina Spektor
Kiss the Rain-Yiruma
Can't Find the Words to Say Goodbye-M.Y.M.P.
Two is Better than One-BLG ft. Taylor Swift
Half of my Heart-John Mayer ft. Taylor Swift
The Best Day-Taylor Swift
Smother Me-The Used
Deathbed-Relient K
Awake-Seconhand Serenade
Life is Beautiful-vega4
Angels-Augustana
Run-Leona Lewis
I Miss You-Incubus
Learn You Inside Out-Lifehouse
Flightless Bird,American Mouth-Iron and Wine
Don't Say Goodbye,Say Goodnight-Binoculars

stupid feeling.

I want to cry.I don't know why.I was just listening to sad songs then suddenly,I feel the need to cry without reason.It's so frustrating,it makes me want to cry more. :(

If My Heart was a House

This song warms my heart.Everytime I hear it,I find no reason not to fall in love.It's so romantic..Tsk..

You're the sky that I fell through
And I remember the view
Whenever I'm holding you
The sun hung from a string
Looking down on the world as it warms over everything
Chills run down my spine
As our fingers entwine
And your sighs harmonize with mine
Unmistakably
I can still feel your heart beat fast when you dance with me
We got older and I should've known (Do you feel alive?)
That I'd feel colder when I walk alone (Oh, but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away, bombs away

Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

It makes me smile because you said it best
I would clearly feel blessed if the sun rose up from the west
Flower balm perfume, all my clothes smell like you
Cause your favorite shade is navy blue
I walk slowly when I'm on my own (Do you feel alive?)
Yeah, but frankly I still feel alone (Oh, but you'll survive)
So I may as well ditch my dismay
Bombs away, bombs away

Circle me and the needle moves gracefully
Back and forth
If my heart was a compass you'd be north
Risk it all cause I'll catch you when you fall
Wherever you go
If my heart was a house you'd be home

If my heart was a house you'd be home


HERE