If Only One Thing Happened Differently...

It's dark outside,I'm awake. All I want to do is sleep forever.

My problems are haunting me. I haven't even gotten a wink of sleep because each time I tried closing my eyes,the consequences would come alive in my dreams,and I can't stand them. My brain hurts from thinking too much. I don't think I can handle this,but I have to. I just wonder what's going to happen to me...to my life. It's selfish that I'm already seeking forgiveness,when I haven't asked for it yet.

It's just so...complicated.I'm cold,and I love this house,but how long will it be able to shelter me? I failed them. What hurts the most is that I failed myself,too,more than anyone else. It's sad when you want to cry,and even the tears won't stream out. It's as if they're saying, "You put this on yourself,deal."

I just wish I could wave a hand and be back in time,three years from now. One single mistake from the past is ruining my life,and I don't think I can face it. I can't...I don't want to...

I fucked up. I need a hug...

This Is The Part Where I Break Down And Cry

Where do I begin? I guess I want to say I'm tired of the drama.It seems like a puppy,following me everywhere.


Although I must admit,I never assumed we'd come to this point where there's no turning back,or so it seems. You were my best friend. I was ready to give up anything to stand up for you. I tried my best to be there for you, to help you get through the rough days when your heart was bleeding in fire.I just wanted you to be there.To stay,to keep me company sometimes.But the moment you found happiness, you disappeared from my sight,quicker than lightning, and before I knew it, everything else was different.

I loved her like a sister. Mainia and I-we used to be inseparable, but things change,and people do,too. Before she met this guy C, she was in a personal crisis and  I was always there for her. No, I'm not saying this to count the good things we've done for each other and compare. I'm just trying to paint with words how close we used to be. She was heartbroken,and so was I,so we clicked. We made each other laugh and cry.Then one day, she was gone.She slipped away like I didn't matter at all.

My point is, just because people meet new people,does that mean they have to throw someone away to give space to the new ones? Cause that was how I felt when I realized what was happening. I don't care,call me sensitive,immature,whatever you wish to call me.I felt like she kicked me in the curb just because she now has her "personal bumble bee", and then when he hurt her,she turned to me and said, "blame C, blame C."

That was what got me annoyed. I'm not like some toy that you get to play with again the moment your new one loses its luster.I have feelings,and they're pretty delicate. I give my all when it comes to three things: family, love, and friendship, but that doesn't mean I don't runaway when I see pain.I'm no saint, I'm only human. I want you to be happy, but surely, you can be happy without hurting me.

This whole thing makes me sad. I told her last night the reason why I'm so distant, but I was misinterpreted before I can fully explain. It's not about you coming back to Twitter role play.I don't even go there anymore. It's you coming back to my life.I want my best friend back but it's not that easy. I don't want to ever feel worthless again.

I was trying to bring it all back to the way it was,but healing takes time.I never forgot you. Stop acting like I was the one who ended this friendship.

I was there the whole time. Where have you been?

The Skies Are Dark, It's Time For Rain...

This is the loneliest sunset I have ever seen.

I should be happy today, not sat here worried like mad, because I do not know what's happening to you. I don't know what happened to you. I don't know where you are, if you are safe now or what... I don't know, and that makes it all the more difficult.

Last night was ecstatic. You, I, our friends, and all the other people that matter, together in one dream, in one place. You held my hand the whole time, and as I leaned my head on your shoulder while we listened to the rolls of waves crashing on the side of the ferry, I wished I could freeze time and stay there with you forever.

It all came without warning today. This morning, you didn't wake up. You were supposed to wake up! To open your eyes and greet me, and wish me a wonderful day. You were supposed to tease me a lot! You were supposed to talk, to breathe this cool, clean air... But you didn't. I shook you and you answered me with a grunt... And before my very eyes, you gasped for air, your heartbeat was crazy, and then it was almost gone. Gone....

I cried, but my tears were not to you like water to plants. They took you away in a noisy ambulance, and all I could see were the flashing reds and blues as I sat limply on the curb, rubbing my face on my palm. I was supposed to chase after you! To make sure that they would give you the best care, the treatment you deserve! Where are you now...?

Cal... Please don't hurt me like this.... Please be well.... Believe me, I tried... I tried to convice them that I was important enough to be there with you, to be there for you... I don't know where you are now... I don't know what's happening now. I don't know if there was something I could have done... I feel so ... I don't know what I am feeling right now....

Please don't leave...Please...

Softly,We Tremble Tonight

I think I blog too much, but you really can't do anything about it.

Today has been a day of keen observation. If you knew me well enough,you would know that I don't pay all that much attention to things unless I'm really bored. My mind is always floating with thoughts and ideas so most of the time, the hands of the clock would tick by and I would not even notice.

Today,I made it my business to just look around me for once.

I've never seen the road as beautiful as I have seen it today. The branches of the trees that swayed above me were beyond magical--I felt like I was in wonderland. On my way to school.I thought about stuff that I usually think about.Like why people die and why things happen.



Human beings are funny,in a way. Sometimes, we are annoyingly funny. Sometimes, it's just plain rude. I was sat in McDonald's all alone, eating my lunch in quiet stillness when a lady (she's about 25-28) asked if she could share my table.I said yes,of course.I mean what choice did I have? Even though there were tons of vacant tables, it would have been rude if I said no,right?

Well,I just realized that no matter how kind you are and no mater how good your intentions are,people would always push you to your limits and you must forgive them for that.Perhaps you make others feel like that too,at times. So the lady turned out to be VERY talkative.I was never the type who talked to strangers like we were old friends,mind you.I have trust issues. So I was wuietly nibbling (hehehe,nibbling) on my chocolate sundae, and I was having these really disturbing coughing fits in between,and she wouldn't shut up.

Nibble,nibble,nibble.She wanted to know where I lived,where I was studying,why I was at the mall, how old I was, what year was I in, what course I was taking, how long did it usually take me to get home, did I take the jeepney every single day, did I have anyone with me at the moment...The list could go on forever. Right at that very moment, I was mentally nagging myself for ever deciding to buy that chocolate sundae. All I wanted was to have some alone time with myself to be able to think things through,but her words were faster than bullet,so as soon as I put the plastic cup down,I politely excused myself and escaped the scene of the crime.

What I'm saying is, that WAS VERY RUDE. I really appreciate it when people talk to me,I mean,I do that a lot in Twitter and Facebook,but when I am eating, DO NOT EVER SPEAK TO ME. I am very strict with this ever since high school. I do not like being watched or talked to when I am eating, cause I respect and value the food. To others it may sound shallow, but why do we pray before we eat? To thank God for the blessing,right? Well, that is the reason why I like eating undisturbed. It makes the meal all the more special and sacred. That is just my opinion.

If you ever find yourself in the same situation one day,respect the other person's privacy and silence,please. As you can see,I was really pissed,and I still am,because I feel violated. I don't know why. It's just so annoying,even until now.

A Month Of Letters Prompt Table

day 1. A letter to an inanimate object you hate.
day 2. A letter to a dinosaur.
day 3. A letter to a movie character
day 4. A letter to someone you want to kick in the face expressing why you want to kick them in the face
day 5. A letter to a celebrity you want to kick in the face
day 6. A HEARTFELT letter to some food
day 7. A letter to a historical event
day 8. A letter to a giant space robot
day 9. A letter to the coolest person you’ve never met
day 10. A letter to an alien race.
day 11. A letter to your last bowel movement
day 12. A letter to a mythological creature
day 13. A letter to a word you don’t like
day 14. A letter to a word you love
day 15. A letter to your crotch.
day 16. A letter to your bed
day 17. A letter to a video game character
day 18. A letter to a website that ruined your life
day 19. A letter to an animal you like
day 20. A letter to an animal you think is fucking stupid
day 21. A letter to something you’ve owned for 5 years+
day 22. A letter to something you want to fuck
day 23. A letter to the drug of your choice.
day 24. A letter to one of your bodyparts
day 25. A letter to Gary Busey
day 26. A letter to the future cyborg version of you
day 27. A letter to band that really needs to break up
day 28. A letter to a movie you hate
day 29. A letter to a letter you’ve written
day 30. A letter to a bowl of fruit

I Desperately Need You...

Just tell me what you want...

Cause I can't figure your mind out. All my life,I have been longing for love and acceptance. From you, from my Mom, from my sister, from my friends...I've tried so hard to be the best,not for myself,but for all of you...Because you made me feel like I am only loved when I went home with a gold medal in hand, with a Certificate to hang on the wall. If not for them, I would never be part of this family.

For two consecutive nights,I went to bed hungry because you didn't make dinner. One morning before going to school, you never spoke to me directly,but you made sure to make loud banging noises whenever you put down whatever it was you were holding, which was quite often.

It hurt me,but you didn't know.Did you even care? Do you even care?

I accidentally put on my sister's pants and she came to you almost crying because of it.Even though we wear the same size,you bought her a new pair immediately.You said that was what I got from my Mom, the habit of taking the things I didn't own.Did you know how painful that was for me?Not only because you were directly puttig me to shame,but also because I knew that in one way or another,you would always make it a point to rub it on my face how bad my Mom would always be.I was eating lunch and I asked you if we had any other available drink other than water, you made me a pitcher of orange juice. Guess what? You made me pay for the juice.

Today was not any better than those days. It was even worse, or perhaps it was the worst. You accused me of stealing my necklace from you. Why would I do that? I may be in dire need of money but I would never dream of stealing anything from anyone just to be able to cater to my needs. This, by far, is the most painful thing anyone has ever done to me.

I said no,I didn't.What was your response? You told me that it was impossible for it to just disappear like that. I don't even have the slightest idea where you put those jewelries. You're the one who's so fond of wearing them every Sunday to Church just so you could show them what we have,what we own.You said it was impossible for you to have misplaced or lost it,when in reality,the chances of you losing it is as fat as the chances of you losing a peso.You think you are so great as to not lose a piece of jewelry when as far as I know,you left it somewhere in your room,completely vulnerable and unkept.

You know,I may not be the best person in the world, but I have fear in God, and my conscience can never take such a thing. I'd rather starve to death than take what is not rightfully mine.I wish for just once you would believe me,but knowing you,you have already made your mind in what you should believe in before you asked me.

I wish you have the faintest idea of how your treatment is pushing me to the limits every single time.I pretend I'm alright,but you are my biggest fear.I am so scared of disappointing you,and when you are around I move as little as possible because I don't want to yet again make another stupid mistake in front of your observant eyes.I don't know what to do anymore to be able to please you...I think I'm growing tired...

I wish someday you'd see me as a person too...How long will it take for you to realize that I have feelings too...? That everytime you tell others how much better my sister is,it hurts,because I know that you know that I can hear you...I don't know what I did for you to treat me like trash, but if you think I'm this worthless, then why don't you just throw me out?

I may be of better use to someone else...

From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart

*click the image to enlarge

Well hello, I have been flamed again. :)

After weeks of not updating my Fanfiction The Day You Said Goodnight, I decided that tonight, it's about time I do, since I have free time.

But then again, maybe I decided wrong. First review for my latest chapter: FLAME.

Aurike, you see, doesn't like tragic stories. I mean I understand her. She also flamed me in Chasing Rainbows. And now, she couldn't understand why Jasper had to choose between ALice and the baby, because according to her, we now have advanced (modern, whatever...) technology like the Ceasarian section wherein Alice could give birth to the baby without harming any of them...

So I said, this is the plot of my story. If this wouldn't happen, my story would be pointless because then it wouldn't revolve around anything. Believe me, I hate plotless stories.

She responded with the private message above. Again, I understand her point, but it's not that easy to not take it personally when she said "your doctors are just stupid".

First of all, I wrote those Doctors. I was the one to give them souls and lives, so that meant I am stupid for writing them like that. Okay, I am stupid. She just basically called me stupid, and I am not hurt. It's fine.

Second, she called me cruel for writing stories like this. Well then, I hope she could give me some tips and suggestions in what I should write next because clearly, she doesn't like what I am doing right now. I would really want to know what she wants to read so that I could please her...So I am cruel, and I am slightly hurt. Does she even know me personally to say this to me? I don't know, cause she is hidden behind a computer screen. No photos, no stories, no description of herself.

Third, she speaks as if she knows everything there is to know about life. Let me ask, has she had a friend who gave birth to a dead infant? Well, my friend did. She was not even sick when she was pregnant with her baby. That was last year. She and the baby were perfectly healthy, they could afford all those modern technology, and her husband didn't have to choose. Still, my point here is that the baby DIED. The baby came out DEAD even after all the smiles and assurances that everything would work out fine. Now,compare this to my story, which is worse? Does this mean that the Author of my friend's life is cruel like me, or maybe even more? No, cause life happens like that. That's what I have been trying to inject on her mind from the very start, but Aurike just wouldn't buy it.

I am never an angry person, you know? I rarely get mad because i always try to put myself on someone's shoes before judging them, but this is just too much for me to handle. Just please,if you have nothing good to say, just don't review, alright? I appreciate constructive criticism, but your criticism is just plain criticism--you create them to bring me down, and trust me,you almost succeeded but I am one tough girl. If I am, by any means, disappointing you with my writings, then, quit reading them. It's as easy and simple as that... I don't know why you even bother in the first place.

This would be the last time I'd address this issue. I just want to make my point clear, because it seems to me that you cannot see it. I don't think you know me personally,so please have some respect and stop using adjectives to describe me.Introduce yourself to me, tell me what you want, and maybe we could even be friends. I want you to be happy, but it looks like your happiness depends on bringing me down,so I regret to inform you that should you keep up with this,you will never know true happiness.

So long, Aurike. I'll be waiting for your suggestions on how I can write better stories. Perhaps you know better than I do. And please, I want to read some of your works too. If you are not too busy making other people miserable, please make time to write one.

Thanks.

Seann.

Respect Is A Two Way Road

I actually didn't spot this particular scene in the movie. :(

Because of Eclipse's different screening days for different countries, Twihards and some not so hard fans are having a hard time getting along on the net. The reason? Spoilers.

I repeat.

Spoilers.

Yes,the bits of movie information that some people who have already seen the movie are posting on Twitter. Those who have to wait are complaining because they feel like we are spoiling the movie for them. (I am not really involved with this, I never posted any spoiler except for my previous blog post which was labeled with "Alert" so it doesn't count.)

In my own humble opinion, some of the guys who haven't seen the movie yet are being irrational. You are going way overboard over this petty thing. Don't hate me, okay? It's just that...I understand where you are coming from. Your point is that you want to wait for the movie and see it without knowing in advance what to expect, but let's face it. You cannot stop the people who have seen it if they want to talk about the movie. It is their right,you know?

You are asking for them to respect you and the fact that you haven't seen the movie yet. Let me just tell you that to gain respect,you must give respect. You can ask politely ("Please do not post spoilers,we are yet to see the movie" is so much better than "Stop posting spoilers! Just fucking stop!") Trust me, you would never get your way with the latter.

Again,these people have all the right to talk about the movie because first of all,they paid to see it.Second,it is their Twitter accounts they are using to post such things, and there is a fat chance that they do not intend to spoil the movie for you. They are just happy and so content that they want to talk about it.Is that so bad?

I think the best solution for this is just unfollow them if you do not like what they are posting, or get off of Twitter until you see the movie. We can't do anything about it,anyway. They will post spoilers whatever you do or say,so just get rid of them.

To those of us who have seen the movie, please respect our friends who are still waiting.Do not post lines and scenes unless you are being asked to. Try to minimize giving away the movie in your tweets. You can always talk about how the movie made you feel,but tweeting what EXACTLY happened and what the characters did and said is just plain annoying to those who hate spoilers. If someone asks about the movie,perhaps we could answer them in DMs so that if it happens to have any spoilers,at least it will not be posted publicly.

Let us avoid having arguments and fights about things as shallow as this. After all, Eclipse will leave the theaters in time and we'll be back with each other again. We are like one family here. We should be there for each other come what may. Just ask politely and give without complaining.

Work on teams, life is all about give and take.

Now I See What Love Means...

Dear Ashley Greene, I love you. That's all I really know.

Today, paparazzi photos of Ashley Greene kissing a guy (I don't know him) came out on the web. Initial reaction: Noooooooo. This can't be. When I know for a fact it it definitely CAN be.

I have always been a Greenebone fan. That's Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone, by the way, but ever since, I have loved Ashley Greene more than Jay. My friends know that. I will always go for Ashley.

With this issue now circulating all over the web, I know some people will judge her for the choices she is making. I can only say one thing to that: she, just like the rest of us, is just human. She has a heart that beats, and no matter what we all say or do, that heart is responsible for her decisions, and we cannot demand her to do what we expect her to do, nor can we change the path that she chooses to take.

Sometimes, it's so easy to be devoted in something or someone and feel as if the things they do that we do not like are wrong. We should all understand that they have their own lives apart from the glitz and the glamor, and that we have to respect it. It's easy to say she has forgotten about our feelings by doing this, but I'm sure she didn't. Ash would never dream of doing something in purpose to hurt her fans. She just followed her heart. She just made a decision for herself, and because we love her, we should at least understand that.

So you see, I am torn between a part of me that wants to be happy because she is happy, and a part of me that wants to be happy because they (Ashley and Jackson) make me happy. But I have learned today that love is not always getting your own happiness. When you are in love, you have to make some sacrifices to make both ends meet. I love Ashley, and I do not condemn or judge her for doing what makes her happy. In a way,I even look up to her for being brave and just doing things her way.

If you will ask me right now, then yes, I am sad and upset, and maybe even disappointed because all this time I have been living with my head in the clouds, assuming she and Jackson are finally getting somewhere. But no matter what this is all about, one thing is for sure: I love her, and nothing will ever change that. If she goes to hell and back, you will surely find me behind her, full support.

Love means giving whatever it takes to secure your loved one's happiness, even if it means forgetting your own.

I'm Creative.

Yay. My room is squeaky clean. Hahaha.

That's hot it looked before I decided to clean it up. Err, I'm sorry, but someone said the most creative people have the messiest room. So there ya' go. I'm creative. :P

See? I could actually clean!!! yay!!! Party!!! hahaha ... I've nothing left to say. I also don't know what Tweety was doing in my bedsheet. I mean... I'm team Hello Kitty. D: MY aunt bought that for me so don't blame me.

Kay. I'll leave you with some of my favorite movies.

Twilight And It's Characters-In Five Sentences

For years now,we are all obsessed with Twilight. Anything Twilight. Sure,we do know all the characters but what about the others? The non-twi-hards who don't have any idea who Bella or Edward is? Well, here, let me help them. ;P In five sentences each, I will introduce you to Twilight. ;P

TWILIGHT

Twilight is a romance novel created by Stephenie Meyer who dreamt of a girl and a vampire in the meadow. It's main characters are Bella and Edward but for me it's really Alice and Jasper, cause I said so. It is a saga made up of four novels, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, respectively. If you don't know anything about it yet then I am so sorry for you. Many fan girls will aspire to kill you.

EDWARD

Edward is a vampire,more than a hundred years old, who falls in love with a clumsy girl (see: Bella). He is strong and romantic and has really nice hair. He has a family, too, though they are all adopted. He likes Volvo and for him Bella smells really really good. Oh, and he sparkles.

JACOB

Jacob Black is Bella's best friend and Edward's biggest rival. At first he has long hair but maybe because Edward looks gorgeous with his locks,Jacob decided that he would be gorgeous too if he cut his hair,so he did. He's a creepy stalker (he jumps into bedrooms quite easily) but not as creepy as Edward. He likes naps and he can't keep a secret. He runs around topless, all the freakin' time.

BELLA

Bella Swan started all this Twilight craze because the novels were told from her point of view (Jacob shares his POV in Breaking Dawn). She's the clumsiest girl ever made and she likes making out A LOT. She's a bad liar but she still tells lies. She likes papercuts, and later on, she cuts herself with a sharp rock cause that's how she rolls. She mumbles and blinks a lot.

ALICE

Alice is Edward's adoptive sister and Bella's best friend. She's always hyper like she just drank a liter of Coke or something, and she LOVES shopping. She can see the future based on the decisions made, but she can't see the future of the werewolves. She can pitch for baseball like crazy, and she likes walking on tree tops. Guilty of stealing a yellow Porsche.

JASPER

Jasper Whitlock Hale is Alice's husband who used to be the youngest major in a Confederate Army in Texas. He has a sexy Southern drawl and a sexy voice. The production made him wear horrible wigs but he certainly pulled off the look, and proved to be the sexiest and most beautiful vampire ever (in my eyes,okay?). He growls at the smell of blood resulted by a silly papercut,and even when he growls he is sexy. He gets to ride a horse and kiss Alice Cullen, which is totally fine with me (okay, NOT.).

ROSALIE

Rosalie Hale was described by Bella as the most beautiful face on Earth or something like that. She acts like a beeeyotch toward Bella most of the time because Bella is human who wants to be a vampire while she is a vampire who would give everything to be human because she wants to have a child. She pretends to be Jasper's twin sister in Forks. She's the wife of Emmett Cullen. Her favorite expression: my monkey man.

EMMETT

Emmett likes arm wrestlings and other things that let him prove that he is strong. He's goofy. He likes bears for food because a bear mauled him before Rosalie found him in the woods. He likes teasing Bella and Edward and the rest of the family. He and Rosalie destroyed a number of houses while having S (soup).

**
That's all because I'm tired. More to come (maybe) soon. I do not mean to offend anybody here,okay (sorry to the fans of Twilight who might get mad--I am a Twilighter too! This is purely for fun) Thanks.

MY HEART IS BREAKING.

Drunk Tweeting....Is Not A Crime

I've been spending too much time staring at Ashley Greene's picture on the internet.I think I need to change a little.It's not healthy anymore.

Hello,I almost forgot to greet you.I guess you're expecting to read another crazy blog entry,noh?Well I don't know....You might be disappointed.

I'm here to talk about my drunken tweets last night.No,I was not drunk with alcohol,and I never will be.I just had a little too much Pepsi in my system...So I was very hyper.And when I woke up today and read my previous tweets,man.Did I really say those? See for yourself.

I have just eaten a drunk gummi bear.I'm totally including this moment in my fanfic.

Will I be considered religious if I worship you and the band?Monkeyism...

Rathbone-ism? What do you call the worshippers...Rathboners?

I suggested to everyone that instead of actually laughing out loud we should just say LOL so now we're all saying LOL.including Mimi's Dad.

SMOJCALANTC (Trust me,you wouldn't want to know what this means.)

@decodelala i miss yew more ohyeahbaby!

@decodelala i missh you too like mashed potatoes and where is @vickyvictoria10?

@decodelala @VickyVictoria10 heeeee we're complete like mashed potatoes!!!

@decodelala @VickyVictoria10I'm peeled. :D

@VickyVictoria10 @decodelala I changed my mind.I'm not a potato.I'm a banana. *hint hint* @TheFakeJAction

@TheFakeBenG If I promise to be a good girl,will you tweet me?

@decodelala LMAO we do we do!!Like dora the explorer we did it we did it yeah!

@TheFakeBenG I was hoping you'd say you love me. D:

@decodelala @VickyVictoria10 I'm drunkbroken.

*stabs a sword straight to my heart*

@LoveLoveLove715 LMAO I'm happier now than when I was a kid when I had the pencil case with the second floor.Hahaha 

Sooooo I was a little crazy,noh? But it's all good. *nods* I slept at 4:00 am, holy yellow Porsche,maybe that's why I'm still sleepy...and dizzy...and hungry.Oh well.

Tomorrow I have a plan to watch a movie with Ham,but I haven't told my grandmother about it yet.I'm still contemplating whether to tell her the truth or to spice up the story with a little...you know,a little convincing lie...But lying is bad so I'd just tell the truth. *Sigh*

That's it for now.I'll post a very deep and meaningful post when I want to. Hehe.

Tata! ;)

Best. Day. Ever. So Far ;)

Today,I'm thankful for summer.

I don't know why, I feel like this has been the highlight of my summer this year,so far.I mean,we've gone swimming and traveling these past few weeks but I've never been this happy.So here are the most important events of my day.

Last night,one of our raised hogs gave birth to 14 piglets, 13 of which died. Sad,I know.A piglet costs Php1,800.00 each in the least,I guess.Because of the super hot weather,the mother got weak and she could not get better anymore,so the veterinarian suggested that we just slaughter her so that we could still at least profit from the meat.My grandmother agreed,but she was almost crying.She loves animals,just like I do.

That hog weighed about 300 kilograms.Yes,she was big,really really big.We distributed the meat in the neighborhood,telling them to pay whenever they have the money.Originally,we could have sold the meat for about Php30,000.00, but because it was all so sudden,we can only expect half of the money.We did not profit.

When I woke up this morning,I walked to the refrigerator only to see it brimming with pork meat.Everywhere.My initial reaction was that I needed to throw up.Since I've seen Dread,I had this slight aversion to meat that would not go away.We had pork nilaga for lunch-my favorite,but I did not eat that much,because I really couldn't bear eating an animal that I once saw alive,which,if you are confused,means I don't eat the animals that we raised.I only eat those meat bought from the supermarket.

The time I was dreading for came today,too.If you are following me on Twitter you should know by now how these past few days,I came up with the most creative and imaginary excuses to not go to the bank.I had to,since Monday,because I had to pay my internet bill.I have been very lazy to get out of my room and get dressed and just pay.For so many times,I've said I'm going, but I always ended up stalling. To make it all short,I had the much needed enthusiasm to go today.

 My awesome procrastinating skill always gets in the way when I have to do boring things.

Since Cabanatuan City is an hour away,I decided to pay in BDO Talavera.I had to endure fifteen long minutes of boredom,riding a jeepney that was possibly slower than a turtle,and when I got there...BOOYAH!!!! The bank welcomed me warmly with a sign on the glass door that said: CLOSED. What.The.Hell.Good thing I brought my PSP with me.I blasted on some feel good music and told myself that since I was already dressed,I'd just go to another BDO branch--in Munoz.

Munoz is situated 30 effing minutes away from Talavera.You could even pass by my hometown on the way.So yeah,I arrived in Munoz quite exhausted, and then I realized that the bank is located far from the bus stop..well,too far for my liking.So I walked...for miles and miles...Okay,I just walked two long,dirty,and noisy City Market streets without an umbrella or any magic shield to protect me from the scorching heat of sun,and when I arrived...BOOYAH!!!!The bank was closed too.On the glass door,a note was also taped.It said: Hello Loser,today, April 9, 2010, is a non-working Holiday.We are closed,so go take your lazy bum back home and come back tomorrow,we will be here to save you.Well,to be honest,it only said that today is a holiday...But it sounded so harsh to me,I have no idea why.*Sigh* I have to go back tomorrow.

My very artistic representation of the distance I traveled today.I know,I'm  a great artist.Thanks!

I went home really disappointed until I found my aunt and sister skewering barbecues on sticks.That cheered me up a little.We had barbecues all afternoon,and I forgot about my meat aversion for a while.We also had tons of Coke and these really huge raisin muffins that I loved.They looked like those ones that Emily baked in New Moon.I completely forgot about my bank failure. ;) We had so much fun eating and cooking...And now,I am sooooooo full that I would not step out for dinner.

So there yah go with my detailed diary entry for today.It has been a hot summer day, but the afternoon was breezy.So far,today is my favorite day of Summer 2010. Staying at home can sometimes be a lot better than going out,I must admit.My sister and I had "So Long,Sweet Summer" and "Hands Down" on repeat on the stereo, and it was the best feeling ever!So that's it...I'm about to end the day with a session of stargazing.

Confessions Of The Normally Abnormal, Usually Unusual

Yesterday, someone asked me if I have gone bonkers. The answer,of course,was no. "This is just me being normal,actually." :D

You might be wondering what lead to the question.This is exactly why today,I am having a confession...Confessions,actually.

Confession #1: The Gummy Bears' Demise

I like killing gummy bears. And I spell it as "gummii", to be honest. It's just cruel...But it makes me happy. I set the color for the day,then kill. Yesterday it was orange. They caused my Barbie's death, so I gave them punishment.I drowned some of them in a glass of Coke and I was amused.Ha! Taught them to be nosey. ;) Before the killing spree,though,I first organized a gummii wedding. An orange gummii bear's last wish was to marry a red gummii bear,so I agreed to do the wedding.After that, I beheaded them, leaving the gummi bride a widow.

Confession #2: The Soldier And The Pixie
You might find it strange for some reason,but I do ship Jackson and Ashley more than Robert and Kristen. You don't know who they are?Shame on you. That's Twilight's Jasper and Alice. I seriously hype up everytime I see a photo of them,or read an article,which is like,always.I am totally hooked,and no,I don't need psychological help,thank you very much.

That's it for today,since I have to run to the stupid bank to pay my internet bill or else I'll be disconnected.I would never want that to happen.I would rather die.Seriously! Okay bye!

I think I might make it a habit to post some confessions here. It's quite fun. ;)

It's Just Another Day

Today, April 4, 2010, is a typical day. It's Easter Sunday though,but does that really make any difference?

Everyone on Twitter keeps talking about chocolates and egg hunts.Well?I've got none of those,cause here in the Philippines,you go egg hunting only if you're rich.To ordinary people like my family,that's just out of the question.

What I'm doing now is this...I'm on Google,looking for great pictures to use with this blog.Interesting eh?Yesssss.I could go on living like this forever, cause I'm one lazy arse baby!

So far I've saved up some good shots of sunsets, of course, and bubbles. I am now looking for forever..I mean,looking for photos that depict forever but I can't seem to find a good one yet.Forever is really hard to find,I guess.

And...because of this Easter chocolate thingy people keep talking about,I am now craving for chocolates...Okay,okay,I'll admit it.Not chocolates...Oreos,but hey!That's close. Chocolates and Oreos are distant cousins.I think I hafta get out of bed and actually buy a pack.Of Oreos,I mean...and Coke,of course.

Okay I'm blabbering.Anyway,last night I had a great talk with Vicky on MSN.We were bashing someone's FanFiction about Mega Bloody Pork Adobo or something.I can't remember it but it was really hilarious--not in a good way.I'm not saying I'm a good writer but hale yeah,I think I can write better than that if I try.Heehee and the girl repelled Vicky's proposal of rewriting her story. "I don't need your help,bitch."

Told yah Vickeh! Hahaha let us mind our own businesses.

That's it for now.I suck at making diary entries. >.<

Oh My.

I feel so weak. i don't know why. I might be sick or something.

I feel blood rushing through my veins. I feel my heart palpitating. Oh God.

Please.

Hello,My Name Is...

Hello,my name is PISSED.

I actually had fun today.On my way home,I saw the sunset while on a bridge,over a very serene image of a river and its delta. I was very inspired.Words were pouring out of my mind as I stared at the sky.They even rearranged themselves into phrases and sentences beautifully.Too bad,I didn't have a pen with me.

In easy words,I was still inspired when I got home.The big toothy grin was not erased form my face even while I was eating.I actually practically just swallowed just so I could pretend to go to bed already and blog in reality,and I never failed.

I've typed maybe two sentences when I noticed my internet connection starting to get bitchy.I didn't mind it though,as I was writing a really good story/snippet.I was aware that what i was typing was not being saved,I had no internet connection but still,I continued.My fingers raced with each other,typing words I now can't remember.I managed to write the whole story in about half an hour,and I was satisfied with the way it turned out.

So why is my name PISSED?

Here you go:

I said I was aware that I had no internet connection,right?Right.So I minimized Firefox for a while and decided to watch a movie called Windstuck.Good movie,I suggest you guys watch it!So yeah.I was so engrossed with the movie but I still checked on my internet browser to see if I could publish already,but I still couldn't,so I just shrugged and minimized my browser again to go back to the movie.To my utter surprise,though,Firefox warned me that I was about to close multiple tabs,asking me if I wanted to save them.I clicked "QUIT",and then Blogspot asked me if I really wanted to navigate away from the page,reminding me that I had an unsaved draft.Guess what I clicked? Yes. Firefox closed immediately,and it was only then did I realize the stupid mistake I have done.I literally died and lived again.Darn...

So that's why instead of "Flimsy Ribbons of Fate" Chapter 1,you are now reading my rant.I've worked hard for that,and my stupidity has just taken its toll on me. -_- Maybe I'll write another one soon.I just need to get back that great amount of inspiration through a view of the sunset.

....And maybe,a bottle of Coke.

....And a day staring at Ashley Greene's picture.

....And Jackson Rathbone.

Jackson Rathbone Ate A Maggot

So Jackson ate a maggot...And when he looked at the camera and smiled, I was like, "what's my name again?". I love him to death. Ohmygollygosh. He is so HOTTT!I think I need a bottle of Coke now.I'm hyperventilating.

Weekend In New England

Rules:

1. Put your iTunes/Napster/Zune Player/WinAmp/etc on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?

You Alone Are God - Hillsongs United

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

The Man In Love With You - Rascal Flatts

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Swimming In Miami - Owl City

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Baby I'm A Want You - Bread (What? Haha)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

I'm You - Leona Lewis (Cool)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts (What the hell?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Warmth of The Sand - Dashboard Confessional

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Try - Nelly Furtado (Accurate, darn)

WHAT IS 2+2?

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson (Doesn't make any sense at all)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

The Best Day - Taylor Swift (Wow!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

I'll Be Loving You Forever - Westlife (I swear I grinned viciously at this!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Happy - Leona Lewis (Agree!)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Meteor Shower - Owl City

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Close To You - The Carpenters (Darn, this is trying to tell me something!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

A Place In This World - Taylor Swift (Can possibly be true)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Angel - Sarah Mclachlan (No way, it's a sad song...)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Fuzzy Blue Lights - Owl City (It's okay.I actually like the song.)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Bust Your Windows - Glee (LMFAO)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Footprints in The Sand - Leona Lewis (This got me thinking. It's true!)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Shattered - Trading Yesterday (God! This is so accurate, how come?! I swear I am not cheating!)

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

River Flows In You - Yiruma (I don't know, it's instrumental.)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Forever In Love - Kenny G.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

The Best Deceptions - Dashboard Confessional

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Feels Like Home - Edwina Hayes

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Don't Fall In Love With A Dreamer - Kenny Rodgers

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Kings and Queens - 30 Seconds To Mars

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Can't Fight This Feeling - Glee (WTF?!)

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

You Found Me - The Fray

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts

POST THIS AS?

Weekend In New England - Barry Manilow