I had fun with my high school friends today. ;P
We went swimming!And riding mega and power slides.. LOL< Albert was the first to call them that. :))
I cannot even tell you about the laughter ..It was unfathomable.
Amazing, how some things seem to change, yet they stay the way they used to be at the same time. ;P
I'm just really happy. Can't concentrate on creating an emotional post tonight.
Sleeping with a smile plastered across my face. ;P
It will grow even bigger cause jackson rathbone will be in my dreams. ;P LOL
I'm pretty sure of that. :))
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Buking!! Haha
This is a conversation between me and my super quiet classmate. So stay out of it. Haha let's call her "D".
We were in an internet cafe, she was LOOKING at MY computer's screen while I was chatting with (Let's call him) "J" who was sick at that moment. here it goes.
"J" is now online.
gummii_cupcakes: hi!! :"> msta na?
just_intym: ok na,nagchat ka na e ;P
gummii_cupcakes: wii bolero pa xa..hehe :))
(a chat window pops up,and yes, it's "D")
supermonkey***: waaah c Jay. Pakisabi hi!
gummii_cupcakes: sure ;P parang di magkatabi eh?
supermonkey***: geh na kau naman close eh. love mo nga diba? :p
gummii_cupcakes: LOL. how'd you know?
supermonkey***: duh. read it in your blog. ;p everybody knows! :))
>>>And I thought blogging was safer than an actual diary. Meh.
We were in an internet cafe, she was LOOKING at MY computer's screen while I was chatting with (Let's call him) "J" who was sick at that moment. here it goes.
"J" is now online.
gummii_cupcakes: hi!! :"> msta na?
just_intym: ok na,nagchat ka na e ;P
gummii_cupcakes: wii bolero pa xa..hehe :))
(a chat window pops up,and yes, it's "D")
supermonkey***: waaah c Jay. Pakisabi hi!
gummii_cupcakes: sure ;P parang di magkatabi eh?
supermonkey***: geh na kau naman close eh. love mo nga diba? :p
gummii_cupcakes: LOL. how'd you know?
supermonkey***: duh. read it in your blog. ;p everybody knows! :))
>>>And I thought blogging was safer than an actual diary. Meh.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Not Mine :))
They asked me if I kissed you.
I told them yes.
They asked if I regretted it.
I told them no.
They asked me if I regretted falling for you.
I told them no.
They asked me how I could have ever liked you.
I replied:
I don’t regret any of my feelings or things I did with him, because when I look at him I see something different than what everyone else can see. When I’m with him, I feel a feeling that no one or being anywhere else can give me. When I kissed him, my world around me melted. When he held me in his arms and rested his head on mine, I forgot everything but my world that was holding me. Even though all of you may see something in him that is so horrible, all I see is all the positive, and special moments that he ever shared with me…
The only thing that I regret is listening to everyone else, because if I had listened to my heart, I would still have him by my side. He would still be just a phone call away. But now, he’s just a phone call away for someone else..
I told them yes.
They asked if I regretted it.
I told them no.
They asked me if I regretted falling for you.
I told them no.
They asked me how I could have ever liked you.
I replied:
I don’t regret any of my feelings or things I did with him, because when I look at him I see something different than what everyone else can see. When I’m with him, I feel a feeling that no one or being anywhere else can give me. When I kissed him, my world around me melted. When he held me in his arms and rested his head on mine, I forgot everything but my world that was holding me. Even though all of you may see something in him that is so horrible, all I see is all the positive, and special moments that he ever shared with me…
The only thing that I regret is listening to everyone else, because if I had listened to my heart, I would still have him by my side. He would still be just a phone call away. But now, he’s just a phone call away for someone else..
Friday, January 29, 2010
Finally!
After 2 bars of cloud 9 and 5 more pieces of those innocent looking Chooey Chocos..
10 Rascal Flatts songs and 6 from Trading Yesterday.
Countless mosquito bites and even more dead mosquitoes (forgive me God,I am a killer.)
Uhm..I don't know how many blog posts and status updates..
4 hours of texting random people about random things.
17 chapters of a Fanfiction..
Finally!I am sleepy!
I can now arrange my pillows and head off to dreamland where my J is waiting for me..:))
--I'm signing out now. :)
See ya,J!
10 Rascal Flatts songs and 6 from Trading Yesterday.
Countless mosquito bites and even more dead mosquitoes (forgive me God,I am a killer.)
Uhm..I don't know how many blog posts and status updates..
4 hours of texting random people about random things.
17 chapters of a Fanfiction..
Finally!I am sleepy!
I can now arrange my pillows and head off to dreamland where my J is waiting for me..:))
--I'm signing out now. :)
See ya,J!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
...And I Fell
If you hold back feelings because you're afraid of getting hurt,
you end up hurting anyway.
So,there's really no point in not giving your heart what it really wants.No matter what you do to avoid it,move heaven and earth if you must,you'd still get hurt.I say grow up,and give it a shot.
You don't lose anything,not yet-until you quit.Love is just like a game,only more complicated,but the reward you get is certainly worth the fight.
So what if I get hurt?Scraped knees and broken bones heal,I guess hearts do too.The only card I've got is I know for a fact that loving someone with all my heart is not a guarantee that he will love me back.That would save me from a lot of unnecessary pain.
I don't know if I would be making the stupidest mistake of my life...and honestly,I don't care.I don't care if you hold my hand and I let you,but not without promising that you wouldn't let go,and eventually you do let go and I get hurt and my heart shatters to pieces.I don't care.I don't care if you only plan to make me cry,cross my name out of your list,and desert me afterwards.Love is like gambling.I'm betting my heart,even if I'm not sure if I would win.I am taking chances,even the smallest one.Hoping against hope that in the end,you'd chose to spend the rest of your life with me.Love is a dangerous curve on the road,its sole purpose might be just to hurt those brave ones who still take it even after they were warned,but I'm in love,and certain or uncertain,life or death,happiness or pain,I'm willing to risk losing it all to take that road with you.
So go ahead and break my heart if you would,it's useless without you anyway.
Dear Yesterday
It's easier to say "I don't care anymore".
But it's hard when you know you don't mean it.
Dear yesterday,I dialed your phone.
I tried going back to your arms.I wanted to feel loved.I wanted to once again feel the warmth of your protective arms around me.I remember you.You might not know it,but I do.
Dear yesterday,where are you?I used to sleep in the afternoons,and gently you'd tuck me under the sheets.You made me feel safe and cared for.I am looking for you.
Dear yesterday,you were that summer afternoon.You were that lazy Sunday morning.You were that rainy August day I spent at home,cuddled up with a good book.I miss you.
Dear yesterday,you were the first day we met.You were our first date.You were the first day he held me.You were our Anniversary.You were our past together.You were the happiest of my days.
Dear yesterday,you were the first day we fought.You were the first time he hurt me.You were that day I spent sitting lonesome on a rock beside the dirt road.You were gone.I'm too late.I'm longing for you.
But it's hard when you know you don't mean it.
Dear yesterday,I dialed your phone.
I tried going back to your arms.I wanted to feel loved.I wanted to once again feel the warmth of your protective arms around me.I remember you.You might not know it,but I do.
Dear yesterday,where are you?I used to sleep in the afternoons,and gently you'd tuck me under the sheets.You made me feel safe and cared for.I am looking for you.
Dear yesterday,you were that summer afternoon.You were that lazy Sunday morning.You were that rainy August day I spent at home,cuddled up with a good book.I miss you.
Dear yesterday,you were the first day we met.You were our first date.You were the first day he held me.You were our Anniversary.You were our past together.You were the happiest of my days.
Dear yesterday,you were the first day we fought.You were the first time he hurt me.You were that day I spent sitting lonesome on a rock beside the dirt road.You were gone.I'm too late.I'm longing for you.
World's Most Useless and Boring and Terribly Annoying Post. :X
May nagtanong sakin kagabi kung pano daw makalimot?
Kaso lang...Drugged ako kagabi...Kaya sabi ko sa kanya,sasagutin ko nalang yung tanong nya kappag maayos na yung takbo ng magulo kong utak.
At dahil feeling ko maayos na yung utak ko,(oo eto na yung pinakamaayos na kaya ko),sasagutin ko na yung tanong nya.Yehey!!
Sa totoo lang,ang emo nung tanong.Nung una wala talaga akong balak sagutin eh?Kaso..wala akong magawa ngayon kaya sige..Magmamarunong ako.Kunwari alam ko kung pano,dun ako magaling eh. ^_^
PAGLIMOT SA MGA BAGAY BAGAY
Eto naman eh madali lang..Lalo na samga ulyanin talaga katulad ko..Yung mga bagay na walang kwenta na laging kinakalimutan katulad ng homeworks (oo walang kwenta yan,agree?)..Madali lang yan kalimutan..Kasi yung motivation nandun na eh.Hindi naman sa gusto natin silang kalimutan...Ayaw lang natin silang alalahanin.Haha!
PAGLIMOT SA EVENTS AT KUNG ANU ANO PA
Minsan kasi may mga date na gusto natin wag na lang dumating eh.Katulad ng exams ganun (hindi ko sinasadya,nagkataon lang na related sa school karamihan ng examples ko) o kaya naman mga party para sa mga hindi naman party people,tapos kailangan nilang mag-attend as in wala silang choice.Madali lang din to.Edi punta ka lang,para matapos na lahat diba?Sabi nga eh the sooner it begins the sooner it will end (may ganito nga ba?).Pwera na lang syempre kung may pictures.Kahit anong paglimot mo maaalala mo pa rin yun. ^_^
Madali lang yan.Eto yung mahirap.
PAGLIMOT SA PAG-IBIG (EWW)
Kaya nga ba mas gusto kong magsulat sa English eh.Ang corny pag tagalog. :D
Eto yata yung tinutukoy talaga nung tanong.
Pano nga bang kalimutan na lang yung taong labs mo?
Pano kung dun lang umikot yung mundo mo,nagpaka-cheesy at nagpakagago ka para sa kanya...tapos biglang sasabihin nya,kalimutan mo na lang lahat yun.Ouch!
Mahirap nga to.Gusto ko man sabihin na,kailangan lang ng panahon para mabaon lahat sa limot,hindi ganun kadali yun.Siguro,yung pinakamadaling simula nun eh i-admit mo sa sarili mo na wala na,tapos na,at ito yung kailangan mong gawin.Yan yung laging unang step sa lahat.Acceptance.Wag mo ng patagalin pa yung sakit sa kasasabi sa sarili mo na may pag-asa pa at maibabalik mo pa yung dati.Magsisi ka na lang para masaya.Umiyak ka ah,para mas may effect.Pagkatapos,mag-move on ka na.Wag kang magmadali,wala ka namang hinahabol.Kung masakit pa,hintayin mo lang...mamamanhid din yan.Kailangan lang ng konting tulak.At syempre,yung will mo na makalimot.Minsan kasi kahit alam natin na yun yung kailangan nating gawin,hindi natin ginagawa.Kasi hindi yun yung gusto natin eh.Hindi tayo dun masaya.Eh pano kung dun sya masaya?Yan yung sabihin mo sa sarili mo.Masaya sya na wala ka.Sige,ulitin mo pa.Hanggang mag-sink in yung katotohanan na hindi ikaw yung gusto nya.Nag-iba yung ikot diba?Kasi mas mahalaga sayo na unahin yung gusto nya bago yung sarili mo.Tapos yung sakit na dala ng pag-amin mo na hindi ikaw yung nagpapasaya sa kanya.Nakakatulong din yung sakit para sa paglimot.Kailangan lang gamitin mo yun ng tama,pabor sayo,hindi kontra.Gawin mong inspiration yun para ipagpatuloy yung buhay na wala sya.Pwera na lang kung masochistic ka.
Wag kang magpaka-emo.Hindi makakatulong yan.Nakakainis pa nga eh,hindi lang sa mata nya,pati sa mata ng iba.Wag ka din magpapansin.Hayaan mo na sya.Anu ka ba?Tanggapin mu na kasi. ;P
Wag mong i-deny yung sarili mo sa nararamdaman mo.Kung alam mong hindi mo kaya--wag mong gawin.Kung sa tingin mo may mapapala ka,sige maghabol ka.Wala naman mawawala sayo.Ano ba naman yung konting pride,halos naubos mo na nga lahat sa kanya diba?Bottomline?Magpakatotoo ka,pero wag kang tanga.Magkaiba yun.Sundin mo lang yung instincts moHindi ka magkakamali.Well,kung magkamali ka man,at least wala kang pagsisisihan diba?Masasabi mo sa sarili mo na talagang ginawa mo lahat,hindi lang kayo para sa isa't isa.Woohoo.Ang keso.Lugi ang Eden.
Oh basta...kung wala ng ibang solusyon...Hindi naman mawawalang ng pader at bato at iba pang bagay sa mundo na pwedenG pag-untugan ng sarili mo.Malay mo makalimot ka agad.Pero may mas maganda pang alternative.Ang tawag dun?Mga kaibigan.^_______________^
Lastly,wag kang maniwala sa lahat ng sinabi ko.Lalo na yung part na mga kaibigan?Lalo kang hindi makakalimot.Aasarin ka lang ng mga yan. :)
END na ng pinakawalang kwentang post sa buong mundo.
Kaso lang...Drugged ako kagabi...Kaya sabi ko sa kanya,sasagutin ko nalang yung tanong nya kappag maayos na yung takbo ng magulo kong utak.
At dahil feeling ko maayos na yung utak ko,(oo eto na yung pinakamaayos na kaya ko),sasagutin ko na yung tanong nya.Yehey!!
Sa totoo lang,ang emo nung tanong.Nung una wala talaga akong balak sagutin eh?Kaso..wala akong magawa ngayon kaya sige..Magmamarunong ako.Kunwari alam ko kung pano,dun ako magaling eh. ^_^
PAGLIMOT SA MGA BAGAY BAGAY
Eto naman eh madali lang..Lalo na samga ulyanin talaga katulad ko..Yung mga bagay na walang kwenta na laging kinakalimutan katulad ng homeworks (oo walang kwenta yan,agree?)..Madali lang yan kalimutan..Kasi yung motivation nandun na eh.Hindi naman sa gusto natin silang kalimutan...Ayaw lang natin silang alalahanin.Haha!
PAGLIMOT SA EVENTS AT KUNG ANU ANO PA
Minsan kasi may mga date na gusto natin wag na lang dumating eh.Katulad ng exams ganun (hindi ko sinasadya,nagkataon lang na related sa school karamihan ng examples ko) o kaya naman mga party para sa mga hindi naman party people,tapos kailangan nilang mag-attend as in wala silang choice.Madali lang din to.Edi punta ka lang,para matapos na lahat diba?Sabi nga eh the sooner it begins the sooner it will end (may ganito nga ba?).Pwera na lang syempre kung may pictures.Kahit anong paglimot mo maaalala mo pa rin yun. ^_^
Madali lang yan.Eto yung mahirap.
PAGLIMOT SA PAG-IBIG (EWW)
Kaya nga ba mas gusto kong magsulat sa English eh.Ang corny pag tagalog. :D
Eto yata yung tinutukoy talaga nung tanong.
Pano nga bang kalimutan na lang yung taong labs mo?
Pano kung dun lang umikot yung mundo mo,nagpaka-cheesy at nagpakagago ka para sa kanya...tapos biglang sasabihin nya,kalimutan mo na lang lahat yun.Ouch!
Mahirap nga to.Gusto ko man sabihin na,kailangan lang ng panahon para mabaon lahat sa limot,hindi ganun kadali yun.Siguro,yung pinakamadaling simula nun eh i-admit mo sa sarili mo na wala na,tapos na,at ito yung kailangan mong gawin.Yan yung laging unang step sa lahat.Acceptance.Wag mo ng patagalin pa yung sakit sa kasasabi sa sarili mo na may pag-asa pa at maibabalik mo pa yung dati.Magsisi ka na lang para masaya.Umiyak ka ah,para mas may effect.Pagkatapos,mag-move on ka na.Wag kang magmadali,wala ka namang hinahabol.Kung masakit pa,hintayin mo lang...mamamanhid din yan.Kailangan lang ng konting tulak.At syempre,yung will mo na makalimot.Minsan kasi kahit alam natin na yun yung kailangan nating gawin,hindi natin ginagawa.Kasi hindi yun yung gusto natin eh.Hindi tayo dun masaya.Eh pano kung dun sya masaya?Yan yung sabihin mo sa sarili mo.Masaya sya na wala ka.Sige,ulitin mo pa.Hanggang mag-sink in yung katotohanan na hindi ikaw yung gusto nya.Nag-iba yung ikot diba?Kasi mas mahalaga sayo na unahin yung gusto nya bago yung sarili mo.Tapos yung sakit na dala ng pag-amin mo na hindi ikaw yung nagpapasaya sa kanya.Nakakatulong din yung sakit para sa paglimot.Kailangan lang gamitin mo yun ng tama,pabor sayo,hindi kontra.Gawin mong inspiration yun para ipagpatuloy yung buhay na wala sya.Pwera na lang kung masochistic ka.
Wag kang magpaka-emo.Hindi makakatulong yan.Nakakainis pa nga eh,hindi lang sa mata nya,pati sa mata ng iba.Wag ka din magpapansin.Hayaan mo na sya.Anu ka ba?Tanggapin mu na kasi. ;P
Wag mong i-deny yung sarili mo sa nararamdaman mo.Kung alam mong hindi mo kaya--wag mong gawin.Kung sa tingin mo may mapapala ka,sige maghabol ka.Wala naman mawawala sayo.Ano ba naman yung konting pride,halos naubos mo na nga lahat sa kanya diba?Bottomline?Magpakatotoo ka,pero wag kang tanga.Magkaiba yun.Sundin mo lang yung instincts moHindi ka magkakamali.Well,kung magkamali ka man,at least wala kang pagsisisihan diba?Masasabi mo sa sarili mo na talagang ginawa mo lahat,hindi lang kayo para sa isa't isa.Woohoo.Ang keso.Lugi ang Eden.
Oh basta...kung wala ng ibang solusyon...Hindi naman mawawalang ng pader at bato at iba pang bagay sa mundo na pwedenG pag-untugan ng sarili mo.Malay mo makalimot ka agad.Pero may mas maganda pang alternative.Ang tawag dun?Mga kaibigan.^_______________^
Lastly,wag kang maniwala sa lahat ng sinabi ko.Lalo na yung part na mga kaibigan?Lalo kang hindi makakalimot.Aasarin ka lang ng mga yan. :)
END na ng pinakawalang kwentang post sa buong mundo.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
There Are Headaches Even the Strongest Paracetamol Can't Cure
....that is the headache acquired when thinking too much,especially when you don't have that much strength and wits to begin with.
What do you do with life,when all you want is for it to end?
Who wants to wake up in the morning feeling bad about everything,go to school and think some more,eat at your usual lunch table with your usual lunch buddies,listen to them talk and laugh,snicker,boast and talk again?
When life gets this boring,who wouldn't take the nearest possible exit?
Everyday,I dutifully fulfill my responsibilities as a sister,student,granddaughter,niece,classmate,friend,neighbor,human. I open my eyes,wash my face,dress up,eat,go to school,hang out with friends,pay the bills,do my neighbor's son's homeworks (this one sucks the most),get yelled at,be stared at,watch TV,get some time alone...I can't even list them all down,but they are the same things I do each day.Sometimes I don't complain,what right have I?But time wears me off each day,scraping my skin,making me more vulnerable than I already am.I get bored too.Easily.
I hate having petty problems.I just run away from them.I hate thinking,and I hate not having something to think about.I am a pothead-I am not proud of that-I am just stating.My mind is the spontaneous kind.I have a short attention span,and I am much too stubborn to stay in place for a fraction of time.
That's what gives me most of my problems.It's not hard for me to lose connection with friends,even loved ones.When time comes that they cannot provide me with something new anymore,I just give up.I stifle a yawn and walk away.
There are also times when I'm utterly bored with something or someone but I just can't give up.Mainly because I don't want to.This is where my headaches start.
It feels like holding back a tear when there's really nothing you can do about it.It will still fall anyway,no matter the effort you exert to not let it stream down your face.I spend so many nights thinking about the blankness that embraced me since I let go.I know that was the right choice,as right as I can ever be.But somehow,it just felt so wrong.Remember when they say 'trust your instincts'?That's what I did when I waved goodbye.My instincts told me that was right.Now I'm not so sure anymore.My instincts are now asking me to go back,dial yesterday and tell my lips to warn myself to never walk away.What can I do now?It's too late.
So early mornings I stay awake,waiting for sleep to consume me,most of the time,it didn't.I tried reading,listening to soft music..what have I got?Dark circles under my eyes.Puffy eyebags.Dizziness.Constant headaches.I tries getting rid of it with paracetamol,ibuprofen,everything.What have I got?
Headaches.
Pain.
And the only cure is the one who caused them.
Ironic much?
What do you do with life,when all you want is for it to end?
Who wants to wake up in the morning feeling bad about everything,go to school and think some more,eat at your usual lunch table with your usual lunch buddies,listen to them talk and laugh,snicker,boast and talk again?
When life gets this boring,who wouldn't take the nearest possible exit?
Everyday,I dutifully fulfill my responsibilities as a sister,student,granddaughter,niece,classmate,friend,neighbor,human. I open my eyes,wash my face,dress up,eat,go to school,hang out with friends,pay the bills,do my neighbor's son's homeworks (this one sucks the most),get yelled at,be stared at,watch TV,get some time alone...I can't even list them all down,but they are the same things I do each day.Sometimes I don't complain,what right have I?But time wears me off each day,scraping my skin,making me more vulnerable than I already am.I get bored too.Easily.
I hate having petty problems.I just run away from them.I hate thinking,and I hate not having something to think about.I am a pothead-I am not proud of that-I am just stating.My mind is the spontaneous kind.I have a short attention span,and I am much too stubborn to stay in place for a fraction of time.
That's what gives me most of my problems.It's not hard for me to lose connection with friends,even loved ones.When time comes that they cannot provide me with something new anymore,I just give up.I stifle a yawn and walk away.
There are also times when I'm utterly bored with something or someone but I just can't give up.Mainly because I don't want to.This is where my headaches start.
It feels like holding back a tear when there's really nothing you can do about it.It will still fall anyway,no matter the effort you exert to not let it stream down your face.I spend so many nights thinking about the blankness that embraced me since I let go.I know that was the right choice,as right as I can ever be.But somehow,it just felt so wrong.Remember when they say 'trust your instincts'?That's what I did when I waved goodbye.My instincts told me that was right.Now I'm not so sure anymore.My instincts are now asking me to go back,dial yesterday and tell my lips to warn myself to never walk away.What can I do now?It's too late.
So early mornings I stay awake,waiting for sleep to consume me,most of the time,it didn't.I tried reading,listening to soft music..what have I got?Dark circles under my eyes.Puffy eyebags.Dizziness.Constant headaches.I tries getting rid of it with paracetamol,ibuprofen,everything.What have I got?
Headaches.
Pain.
And the only cure is the one who caused them.
Ironic much?
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