Friday, November 30, 2012

You're mad.

You're mad at the world because you can't have what you want. What you fail to realize is that the world doesn't owe you a single thing; it was here first.

You think to yourself, out of the billions of people on the planet, hundreds of thousands of them serial killers, or rapists, or robbers, or mad cannibals, the universe conspires to give you the shittiest days known to man. You don't even see how millions of these people, most of them children, are dying of starvation, or victims of abuse by their own parents, or spending Christmases and their birthdays on the streets.

You feel like it's the end of the world because your internet connection is weak, and your phone is running out of charge, and your parents flat out refuse to buy you the latest iPad model, and your teachers give assignments and quizzes all at once. Somewhere in the world, someone's biggest wish is to finish his or her studies. Someone struggles to pay his way through college, to be able to afford a sick parent's medication, selling whatever gadgets they have left for a little something to eat, to get them through the day.

You look in the mirror and you hate what you see. You're too fat. You're not pretty enough. Your hair never falls in place and you'd do anything to change what you are, when what you really should be changing is the way you look at things. Beauty, popularity, money. These things matter to you now, but in 5 or 10 years' time, what you'd be thinking about are the things you wish you'd said, the moments that slipped from your hands, and the people you wish you'd asked to stay.

You shy away from people and keep your feelings to yourself because you're a little bit different. You're a boy, and you like boys, or you're a girl, and you like girls. You're ashamed because you think there's something wrong with you, but what you really should be ashamed of is the fact that you're letting society dictate who you should or should not love. You'd either grow old alone or stuck in a relationship that doesn't work just because you conform to what the world says is right. What you fail to realize is that it's your life on the line.

You're mad at the world because you can't have what you want, but the truth is that you're mad at yourself because you want it, but you don't want it bad enough to even be willing fight for it. You're mad, because you want it handed to you on a silver platter. You want things to go your way. You want people to like you when you can't even like yourself. You complain about everything, but you're doing nothing to change them.

You, my friend, are mad.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Midnight thoughts.

Sit on my chaotic mind
Rearrange the pieces
Of a puzzle torn by your pointed claws
Of broken jars of dreams of us.

Walk through the alleys of my veins
Sift through the dusts in my blood
See if they still have your name
See if they still sing for you.

Stay on all corners of my heart
Feel me beat for you from dusk till dawn
Paint over the doodles on the walls
Light a fire over the mounds of pain.

Come home to the comfort of my arms
Tie yourself to my memories of you
Build your room into the core of my being
Screw a lid over this  hole in my existence.

Friday, November 16, 2012


The universe is vast. I used to think it was limitless, infinite. So why, now, do I feel like I'm standing on its edge, going in circles because gravity keeps pulling me down?

I'm connected to you by a string. It is frayed. I need to know why we live like this. Why, after all we've been through, is it still so hard to just let every piece of truth fall from your lips? Lie on your back, take my hand. Tonight, we'll watch the stars fall from the sky.

I'm just a speck in your universe. It is forever changing, leaving little room for stability. I never thought I would be foolish enough to let your hand slip away from my hold. I should have kept my grip. "I'm sorry," I should have said, but I turned my back on you instead.

I'm never one to admit to my mistakes. I don't give up easily, either. But this space between us, it burns, and it expands, until an inch becomes a light year away. We're orbiting two different suns, and for a moment, we thought we could make them merge into one. But then, reality sneaks in, and we're rotating on the same axis, both too fast, neither willing to slow down to somehow soften the blow.

Next thing we know, we're crashing into each other, leaving chaos and a  path of endless destruction.

Come down with me,  lie on your back. We can walk away tomorrow. There'll be no looking back. But for tonight, we'll watch the ashes fall.