Monday, August 25, 2014

I hate being up on hours like this, when my thoughts run deep and are on the verge of pushing me to the edge.

I feel more, and I hate that. Life scares me. It's terrifying....but daylight has its way of masking that fear so that I don't see it for what it really is.

But when it's this dark and cold, and my thoughts are free to roam endless roads, I feel it all. Everything I block when I don't have time to ponder. Everything I push away, so that I could hold myself together for one more day.

I'm so tired, and right now I feel like I can't possibly go on anymore, but I will, because I must.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

My heart is for lease, if anyone's interested. I'm tired of having to feel all these emotions, all this confusion. I don't think it's worth it anymore.

I'm done trying to keep people in my life when clearly, they have something else in mind.

So my heart is for lease. Take it all away for free if it means I'll feel nothing from then on.

Friday, August 15, 2014

Square windows, kidnapped stars. Dim, unfreckled evening skies. A hole in my heart in the shape of your constant absence, my invariable longing.

Cries for help, still unheard. Stillness as waves crash to the shore, bubbles rising, then fading. Your laughter sinking away, pulled down by the harrowing tides.

Outstretched fingers, barely touching. Desperately reaching for the could have beens, the might have beens, pushing back the insistent hands of a ticking clock. 


One wild heartbeat, one last gasp for air. One fleeting request for room to breathe.


Closed fists, clutching the little sliver of life left in my lungs. A strong desire to fight, a ball of fire in the frozen atlantic waters.

One kick, two legs burning to reach what lies ahead.

A steady anchor tied to my bruised ankle, the shape of the charred remains of what once was your extraordinary love.

A sinking feeling, the silver, eerie calm of an ending folded between these heavy sheets of tears. 

Silent promises. Whispered assurances.

One day. One day, you won't matter.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

It sometimes just hits me how much I like you. How much I still like you, despite the uncertainties looming overhead. I don't even try fighting it anymore. What's the use? I can't shake you off. Even though it hurts sometimes...Seeing you close with other girls, hearing them make you laugh...I still like you. I don't think anything can change that fact soon.