Wednesday, April 30, 2014

You lose someone, and you spend the rest of your days trying to fill the void they leave in your very soul. One day, you'll wake up and think, finally, you're okay. But some days are better than others. You keep praying to keep your streak, but soon, it all crumbles down, as if only a minute has passed since your heart was ripped from your chest. 

You'll realize that no beautiful places and no pretty faces can make you whole again. You'll realize that no song is sad enough and no movie is good enough to make you lose the emptiness hovering over your head.

You'll spend the rest of your days wondering if suffering and pain really do have an end.

Friday, April 18, 2014

I have lost 
The sound of your voice
Somewhere between
Our senseless bickering
And I now I seek
The comfort of your presence
That I seem to have taken for granted
When you were more
Than just a second blink
Just a chilly breeze
More than a ghost
Haunting me till sleep.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I don't know what it is that brings me here, but I feel so empty tonight. May e I'm just tired, maybe I'm just thinking too much of the future that will come soon enough, anyway, I don't know. I don't know, and that's what bothers me most.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

A girl from school passed away recently. A few weeks ago, I found out about her through a common friend on Facebook who posted a get well soon message on her wall. Personally, I didn't know her, and I regret not having the chance.

I found out more about her through my friend, Patrick, who told me that they were classmates in high school. Apparently, she hung herself a few weeks back after her girlfriend left her. She was admitted in the ICU for a while, and it seemed like she was going to recover, and then it all came to an end.

Her Facebook profile is now flooded with messages from all the people whose lives she'd touched. Like I said, I didn't know her before any of this, but it seems to me like she has hundreds of friends. They all ask the same thing: how could a girl, surrounded by so many people who love her, give up so easily on life?

Frankly,I don't understand it as well. I guess I'm not the type who will love a person so much that I'd be happier to take my life than live without them. This incident makes me think, though. Out of all the hundreds of people saddened now by her passing, how many truly devoted the time to listen to her when she needed comfort?

I mean no judgment to any of her friends or family. I'm just asking a question here, cause sometimes, you can be surrounded and loved by a crowd, but you can still feel so alone. So I'm asking. Those times when she was low, even when she wasn't saying a word, did anyone ever really grabbed her hand and said, "I'm here if you need to talk"? 

I wish I could have known her. I wish I could have given her an hour of my time, if only to let her mind wander away from the poisonous thoughts lurking there. I feel like the world lost a star in her passing. She could have made more people happy. I could have made her realize that no one is worth that much that she should leave the world for another person. I could have at least done something to give her one more day.

But we are all so caught up in our own little lives sometimes that we forget one vital thing: the world does not revolve around us. Look around. Every day, at least one of your friends need you. Don't forget to give them a minute, to let them tell you what's going on in their lives. Smile at a stranger and be kind. One random act of kindness could be the last straw they're hanging on to continue pushing through life.

And if you're going through something, don't hesitate to tell someone. Someone will listen. Someone cares. Don't forget that no matter what, you matter.

Monday, April 7, 2014

I can't say excatly when everything started to change. There you were, and then my world shifted, and the things I once thought I knew were suddenly strange again to me.

I have almost forgotten how to feel like this. Like my skin is made of keg powder everytime we accidentally touch, or bump into each other. Like I light up in sparks. Like I'm about to explode.

I don't know what it was like the last time. I only know it's magical with you. When you're with me, I can think of a million things I want to say to you, but I can't think of a single way to begin.

After all, I'm scared.

After all, I could be the only one feeling this way.

I'm bound to get hurt, I know. I'm hoping my feelings will pass with time, but I'm seeing now how things could end up worse, or maybe better.

My cards are good, but I'm scared that I might not play them right.