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Monday, December 17, 2012

12/17/12

There are times when I hide behind a happy face because that's the easiest thing for me to do. After all, how do I explain how after all this time, not a day passes by that I don't think of you? Who will understand how much I still long for you?

The world is cold. Everything just feels so wrong without you. Your memories are anchors, weighing me down, keeping me stuck on the shore. I spend all my time reading all these poems, listening to all these songs, hoping that somehow, by some miracle, I will find the words to describe how I feel.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

It doesn't matter how many times I repeat that. I'm not even sure you can still hear me. I don't know if you can feel gravity pulling you to me. What are you supposed to be now? A lingering echo of thoughts, of precious words left unsaid? A cruel tick of the clock, the sole measure of how much time has passed?

I don't know where to find you, and I don't know how. Is it even possible?

All I know now is this feeling. Heavy sighs and empty laughter. This is me now. This is what I've been since the day you walked out.