Empty

Behind the smiling curve in my eyes,there lies burden.Underneath each pealing bells of laughter,there is sadness.Sadness I can't explain.Like listening to a sentimental music while rain is pouring outside.It gives me the feeling of wanting to wish I was someone else.It makes me want to ponder on all the 'what ifs' available.

I turned out the light,hoping sleep would come immediately,though I know this won't be fulfilled.I just want everything to be black so I can't see my reflection.I feel the weight of my own stare.My chest feels so heavy under my skin,though in reality,I feel empty.Like something's missing.Something that is a vital part of me.

I don't know what people call this feeling.It's like vulnerability.It's like nothingness,numbness..I just want to go back to the days when all I do is play,I have nothing to worry about.I miss crying with reason.I miss smiling for nothing at all.I miss feeling important,loved..