Be Kind

I'm bound to cut a friendship short today. I don't know if I can even say that, since it never realy felt like I had that particular person for a friend, but still.

I'm not one to pretend that I like someone when I don't, but I'm decent enough to be civil with them. I don't get why people find it so hard to do that. Why do we always feel like we need to put other people down before we can start feeling good about ourselves?

I'm talking about bullying and being judgmental. A book I've read recently, Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult tells a story about a teenage guy, Peter Houghton, who went on a shooting spree in his high school, killing ten people and leaving 19 others wounded. Peter was a victim of a lifelong, day to day bullying.

I think everything we do leads to another circumstance.That's why we have the words destiny and fate in the dictionary.Think of what would happen if someone set a building on fire. It would affect the lives of the people who own the building, the people who work there, the people who passed by it, the people who would see it on the news, and the person who lit the match, thus affecting every single person around all of them, even indirectly. That's what bullying does, too, except there's no fire, only a crushed self esteem. There'll be no one shouting for help, only a victim's supressed feelings. There are no charred walls and collapsed ceilings, only a broken heart.

I don't want to sound all saintly and good, because I'm not. Sometimes, I have those moments, too, when I'm being mean and can't help but notice someone else's imperfections, but when that time arrives, I just remind myself that calling someone fat won't make me thin, and calling someone ugly doesn't make me beautiful. It certainly doesn't make me feel beautiful.

It makes my heart hurt when I witness someone giving dirty looks to a couple because they're both girls. It makes my skin flame with irritation when people make fun of someone who's gay. We don't even know how his father might be hurting him in the confines of his own home for his sexual preferences. That classmate you call geek, that someone "totally uncool", that "friendless loser", that "fat bitch", that "ugly duckling"? They all have their stories to share. Stories that might change your life, if only you will listen. Bullying is no laughing matter.

One quote I've read somewhere says, "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." I don't know if those were the exact words, but no quote could have said it any better. If we only stop for a while, before we say anything hurtful, and reflect on that phrase, I think the world is going to be a beautiful place, the way it was meant to be. I hope we can all just try to put ourselves in someone else's shoes and instead of pointing out a person's flaw or imperfection, smile and focus on the many beautiful things about them. We all need someone, anyone to make us feel accepted for all the things we are and all the things we aren't. Be that person for someone else. We can save lives.