The air turned chilly yesterday. October…this is when I always start this misery that never seems to end. I'm so tired of holding on. I'm scraped and beaten and exhausted and just plain lonely, desolate, miserable.

It's just the same thing happening over and over again. This is the cycle of my life. This is the curse I gain for loving you - never being able to take one single step forward. I'm stuck here forever, ain't I?

I want it all to end. Take my heart if you must, if it means there'd be no more pain left behind. No more nights spent thinking about the what-ifs, the could-have-beens. Because I know. I know I'll always be here, fighting without you.