Just sitting here pretending to be a baby carrot.

Happy November,fellow bloggers!

I've been waiting for this month for so long. Today has been a good day but I'm just sitting here pretending to be a baby carrot. Just kidding. It's November, which means about two weeks from now, it's Breaking Dawn Part 1 day! I can't wait for it, although I'm not so sure who I'm seeing it with and where.

I told my grandma that I want to go to Manila on the 18th but she doesn't seem to be so fond of the idea. I'm kind of desperate, since I saw Eclipse last year with my girlfriends and I want to see this film with them, but we'll see. In a span of a year, so much has changed in my life and it's so hard to get used to this new routine now. Last year I was traveling wherever I want, whenever I want to, and now I'm stuck at home, I'm twenty, and I have to ask either my mom or my grandma for money and for permission to go somewhere. And it doesn't help at all that my grandma is so overprotective that usually, it's a no, and if it's a yes, it's a conditional yes.

Anyways, I can't wait for my mom to come home this December. We have so many plans but I'm not sure if they're all going to happen. There are already some fat dark clouds showing themselves between us and those plans, but I hope it all comes out smoothly in the end. I'm just not going to get my hopes up so I don't end up being crushed.

Yesterday,we were at the mall. When we got home, my aunt told me that this neighbor of ours commented that our lives are so easy, "Ang sasarap ng mga buhay." It was a snide remark, a jealous one, because of some personal conflicts I'd rather not mention. I'm partly irritated that she's so shallow minded and jealous, and I find it funny that she thinks so much of my family. Whatever we do, she has a comment. One of these days, I'm just going to go up there and show her why she's so jealous, really. She's sure to get a handful of it from me if she doesn't stop.

So, on our way home, I was listening to my iPod. It was dark and lights were flashing by the road and there was a cold breeze, and suddenly, Taylor Swift's Enchanted just came on and I was like, how nice would it be to have someone to feel that way for right now? I miss being in love and being loved. Being adored, not so much. Not to boast, but I get a lot of adoration from strangers and it's just not nice. I don't like it when I pass by and a guy says, "There goes my girlfriend," or "I will court that girl," and never even have the balls to decently say hello. I therefore conclude that I don't like being indirectly hit on. I'm not going to settle for someone who thinks he can get me by whispering idiocy in the wind.

I don't think I can ask for more from life right now, but I just feel like something's not adding up to the equation. It feels wrong, and I can't put my finger on it. I don't know what's wrong, but something is.