I Miss Everything About You.

I guess it's one of those things I have no control about. People come, people go. But it's easier said than done. How will I go on with my life when it feels like I'm leaving part of my heart behind? It can't beat properly...

Ching, you may or may not be able to read this, but I'll let my guard down all the same. It's like a letter I will never send. I'm writing this not because I want to force myself into your life. I'm writing this to let all the pain out of me, because I am about to explode.

First of all, Ching, I miss you.














The last few days have been blank. All I remember now are the times I spent thinking and worrying about you. I've known you only for a short time but in all those moments I talked to you, it's like I have been acquainted with your pain. I might never know what hurts you, but it doesn't stop me from feeling the depth of your wounds and wanting to help you treat them, make them heal.

I can't even describe to you how sad you are making me... Don't get me wrong, please... It's not like I'm blaming you... It's just that....I should have been there more for you. I should have let you know how important you are to me. In my life, I claimed you as a younger sister, and it hurts me inconsolably to know that I could have done something-anything, to make you stay.

You did not even say goodbye. You told me you'd hold on and never let life beat you. What happened, Ching? Did they hurt you? Did anyone do something bad to you? I so badly want to protect you, to shield you from all the pain. I so badly want to receive you in my home, my fortress, and be able to tell you that nobody will hurt you anymore.

I guess it's too late for me. I feel like I failed at being a friend because of this. I feel like I have let you down when I promised not to. I feel like you banged the door close on my face. I miss you so much... I miss you so much...

I know you think nobody loves you. Truth is, I do. I may never have told you enough how much you mean to me...I wish I could fly despite my lack of wings. I wish I could give you a hug every single day and tell you how beautiful you are until you believe me, cause you are.

Wherever you are tonight, Ching, I'm sending you all my love. I'm whispering to the wind and I hope it carries to you all the words my heart says but my lips cannot utter. I'm not forcing you, nor even asking to be a part of your life. I just want you to tell me something, even just one word-satiate my heart's thirst for you. I hope you don't feel alone. I may not be there with you, but I am here for you.

I wish I could wipe your tears away. But because I can't, I'll cry with you instead.

If I can't stop you from bleeding, then you can't stop me from bleeding with you.

I love you so much. I hope all is well.