I'm Sorry For That Night.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?


We all have,at one point in our lives. Family, friends, lovers. I have loved someone so much that it hurt, and it still does. Sometimes, reality is the last place I want to be in.

K and I had a huge fight because of V. No, I'm not blaming V or K, or maybe even myself. It's no one's fault, but it hurts nonetheless. In a matter of a few hours,I've lost two important people in my life.

K for opening my roleplay account out of curiosity, and so he saw something he didn't want to see- V's tweets about having an accident or whatever that was. That account is a lie, and I know that,and I never intended to snoop on her business.It just so happened that K had, and he hates lies. A lot. And there are other people involved that he cares a lot about, so it got all complicated and came down to one thing after the other: I got mad at K, K got mad at me, I read all those tweets in question, got disappointed with a friend, and V blocked me.

I'm not even sure now if she'll ever speak to me again. I can handle not having K in my life. It will be hard, of course, but if it boils down to me having to choose, I'd rather have V.

Even if it feels like she'd rather not have me.

I'm fine,actually. I just feel empty. It's cold, and I'm not feeling it physically. It's so hard to stand when you don't know what else to believe in. You might be saying "Seann, shut the fuck up. It's role play."

Well yes,it's roleplay. But behind those characters are humans with feelings. Humans who escape the real world because it's shitty enough for them. I'm sorry. It's just that I stood up for her, and here I am, still lost them both. I guess it doesn't matter,anyway.

I'm still here though. Waiting for a simple hello,nothing else. Just give me that and it will all be fine. Things will fall back to the right places in time.

As for everyone else, be careful with what you say, but most of all, be careful with what you hear. The world is full of trickery.