As usual,it's just another one of those nights when the breeze is too cold and I'm obviously too much of a dramatic to refuse listening to Yiruma and all these piano pieces that remind me so much of love.
I'm very happy for my friends. They've been changing relationship statuses on Facebook here and there, my News Feed is filled with heart pinned updates of this girl I used to go to Elementary school with in a relationship with some guy she probably met in College. I see status messages of someone I used to have a major crush on, telling everyone that he has finished submitting all the requirements he needed to graduate. All he needs to do now is wear a hideous graduation gown and cap and he's done with school forever. Everyone around me seems to have a purpose in life. They all know where they're headed, or at least, where they want to. They have people who would do anything to be with them, even if "anything" means skipping classes or disobeying their parents' rules or ditching their friends. I'm so stuck here and I don't know what I want from life.
I can't see anything I could be or want to be in the future. My mother hates ne for not graduating when I was supposed to, even though mu grandmother, who paid for everything, never gave me a single word about it. I feel like I've always been just a burden for my Mom. Nothing I ever do could please her and I don't know why. Maybe she thinks I'm just a mistake who ruined her life. She wouldn't even talk to me on the phone. It's like I don't exist for her anymore. Now everything that matters to her is my sister, when she didn't even greet her on her birthday, and I did. That also happened on Mothers Day.
I just want to feel like I belong somewhere but it seems like people don't appreciate the good things others did anymore. You're not judged by how good you are or how hard you try. Do something bad, one single thing, and everything you've worked hard to earn goes down the drain.
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