Three Things You Regret

I remember when a friend asked me to write an essay for him, and I wrote something about regrets. It's funny, now that I think about it, because it was entitled Regret: A Bitter Pill To Swallow, and he'll never know that it was FOR him, too, about how I was still not over him, and how I regretted treating him so badly. We all regret something, it's true. It's sad to say that as much as I try to live life to the fullest, I still end up regretting some things. It's a road we can't avoid.

One of the biggest regrets I have is putting up walls and not letting the people I love in. I've always been stubborn and I always thought I could make it on my own. When I was five, I wanted to prove that I could cross the street, so I did, and I was almost run by a construction truck. That was not the last time I jumped into the muddy water head first. I've always tried to make the world see that I could make it on my own, so I attended this High School where I knew no one. Again, big mistake. I keep my feelings and thoughts to myself, and I never let my family help me. I always end up regretting everything and wishing I could go back in time and change everything, but all I can really do is remember all the lessons I've learned, and never make the same mistake again. Which never happens.

I also regret not telling people or showing them how much I love them before it's too late. One of the hardest things in life for me is saying goodbye. I'd do anything to avoid a goodbye, honestly. I get so attached to people (or even things) that sometimes it's so hard to figure out how I've managed to live before them. I've lost my father seven years ago, and when I think about it, I need him now more than ever. I often wonder how life would be different if he was still here, but as they say, things happen for a reason. I don't know the reason why he had to be out of our lives so early, but I'm holding on to that hope that something good is to come out of it.

Lastly, I regret ever taking my life for granted. It's one of the saddest truths I'll ever say, but I did take the last few years for granted. All those wasted days, the money I spent on pure nothing, the afternoons I could have spent with family and friends, the things I threw away thinking I'd get something better. They all made me who I am today, but the question is, would I have been a better person if I did anything differently? I'll never know. I'll always be stuck here wondering.