“The worst thing about getting your heart broken is going to sleep and knowing you’re going to wake up and nothing has changed.”
Like, seriously, this must be the reason why I have sleepless nights. It's because I don't want to go to sleep and forget the pain, float off to dreamland where everything is perfect, where everything happens the way I want them to, and then wake up in the morning and feel a brand new type of pain surge again. It's like getting my hopes up and watching them fall all over again.
I know, I have not any right to say I have lost you, for doubtlessly, you never have been mine. But your words, your actions...what did they mean? You almost gave the world to me, I just didn't ask for it. What happened to us? We were almost there.
I think I noticed where we started falling apart. The goodbyes were easier, the phone calls shorter, the arguments tougher, everything went bad, until one day, we woke up and realized that the beautiful dream was over. As much as we wanted to resume it, we just can't, for reasons we couldn't find. Maybe that's why people started saying 'just because'. We fell apart just because. No one really wanted it to end, but no one was brave enough to restart.
The hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what’s going on. Neither of us knows what each other’s thinking and we’re both trying to make decisions based on information we don’t know. I’m scared to tell you my feelings just in case you don’t feel the same way.
And now, I just learned a lesson the hard way: undone things are much more regrettable than bad decisions. Here I am, sitting far from the stars, wondering what might have been, if only I tried.
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