Okay, so I've already mentioned that I was writing a story. I'm starting to really like it, especially knowing that people read the fickle of my imagination,it really feels good. (Talk about self esteem.)
I have written 10 chapters for two days, then I published them one by one while extracting ideas in my mind for the next chapter. I managed to write chapters 11 through 14 smoothly, but then again, I had writer's block.
That was really annoying.I wanted to write something, but nothing came to my mind. It's like I was really very willing to write, but my body wouldn't respond to my commands.
Last night, I started listening to some songs to set the mood. I was successful. I have even updated my blog because I was inspired.Oh, the things music can do. :)
I've written two chapters in different points of view before some people-yes,people,it means not just one,but two people-kept buzzing on my chat box.Yes it's my fault that I went online, but really!I told them I was busy and all.. But they keep sending these nonsense and I felt myself bursting with annoyance.
I was so upset that all the ideas I had were erased from my mind,from my memory-maybe they'll return again,but heck yeah, I don't know how to put them in words anymore.Last night was so perfect,I knew the phrases that should go together, the lines, the situation...FUN these guys that bothered me. I mean, who are they?!
I hate it that they don't understand that I,for once,have a life outside of what they claim to be their love for me.Yeah sure,you love me,you miss me,you're sorry..I've heard them all before.So what's new?Nothing,right? You're just going to make me see how much of jerks you are,proving that I was right to step out of your lives.I wish you'd just let me go,instead of clipping my (demon) wings.I want to fly, anywhere NOT near you. You don't have to start an awkward conversation because honestly?I don't care.I don't give an effing damn about a word you say.Hurts,right?Now try and multiply the pain you're feeling now to 10.Can you imagine that?That's how you made me feel.So it's only fair that you give me my alone time. I definitely deserve it.
Now,don't say you're sorry again.I've already figured that out,since I'm so smart.(Hell yeah,I am!The fact that I kicked you out of my life is proof enough.)If you think I need your mushy mushy loving words to get me through the days,you're wrong!I don't need you.Go to hell,for all I care.I wouldn't even notice your absence.Stop being sorry for me.Be sorry for yourselves.It's not my loss.
And if you really want to make it up to me, give me back my ideas that you ruined. I need them.
Then, go and disappear.
**
Sorry about that. I just wanted to vent out this hatred or else I'll explode,which,I guess, just happened,by the way. But yeah, they must understand, my world doesn't revolve around them or their pain.How hard is it to get that I don't really care?Sigh.
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