And The Days Feel Like Years When I'm Alone

It doesn't feel the same.

I have managed to sleep for an hour or so. Today would be the last day.

Tomorrow, I would have to stand on the grassy ground and watch them bury my everything. Someday, I'd be able to move on and get over it, but things would never be the same.

I'm almost too tired to cry. I say almost because it's not really that easy to stop the tears. Why does it seem like I do not have the right to be happy? Every time something good happens, something bad comes too soon. And then my smiles would turn into frowns. Laughter would turn into tears. Days would feel like years.

I miss him. It's the only time music doesn't help at all. And when I'm alone,my mind is floating somewhere, where we could be together. My heart feels like a dry piece of land, and loneliness is water. When it pours down on me, it fills all the cracks and envelopes me until it is all that I could feel.

I don't know when I would be able to heal, but I'm coping unwilligly. Like people do in the movies when a boat sinks and they couldn't swim anymore, they grab a log and let the waves toss them wherever it must. That's me now.

I don't know where I am going...but this walking gives me something to do.