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Sunday, August 22, 2010

I'm Spinning and Swirling



I have nothing to say tonight. Do you know that feeling,when your mind is so clouded with things and you just don't trsust yourself to talk anymore?

What will I say now? I was supposed to be in Manila, but the trip was moved to next week, so I'm stuck here trying to review my lessons, but my mind just isn't feeling like a sponge. It would not accept anything I try to memorize. I'm just too distracted.

If there is any part of my body that feels like a sponge right now, that would be my limbs. I am so freaking exhausted and hungry. I have just eaten but I'm starving again. Shake my actual head. So I'm eating eggnogs here, trying to update you with what's going on with my life. It's not really so bad,noh? That doesn't make it so good though.

I miss everyone. Here I am again, being emotional and all, but Twitter is so quiet. Last night we tried to make Greenbone trend but we had no luck, I guess. Ashley was seen again kissing another guy. This time it was Joe Jonas. Mind you, I have nothing against him, but... I don't know. I just don't think he's good enough for her. But then again, her dating record isn't too good either.

When she was papped making out with Brock, I cried. Now, I didn't. I should, I know I should, but I think I'm used to it. It will only take a matter of time before she's back in Jackson's arms again. It's hard to judge her or the relationships she gets herself into because no one really knows the truth behind them except herself, but sometimes I just can't help it. I want to just ask her to come right out and tell us what's going on. Sometimes, we deserve to know.

But that is her private life. I just wish she would keep it private, because with what I am seeing, it's like she's having a party in her bedroom and the door is slightly open, giving us all a glimpse, but never allowing us to enter. Wait--does that make sense to you?

I wish it will all stop and she'd just settle down and stay with one guy,you know? I'd love it if it was Jackson but if she prefered someone else and I saw that she was truly happy, I would never go against it. Only she knows what's best for her. I love Ashley more than anyone else (not my family and friends,ah whatever, if you are looking up to someone right now you would know what I mean), and I only want her to be truly happy, but when you are a stranger looking from the outside, you will never understand what she is doing with her life. I'm trying to make sense of all of it though.. She's young and beautiful. She has the right to make the most out of it in any way she wants.

I just swear to God, if she ends up getting hurt because of Joe... I don't know. I just don't know.

P.S.:

I changed my blog music again. It's the fourth one now. First was She Is The Sunlight by Trading Yesterday, followed by May I by Trading Yesterday, then, Gone by Jim Chapell, now it's I Never Told You by Colbie Caillat. Mainia introduced me to this song. I can't stop listening to it now. I can relate to the lyrics.

Off I go to munch on crackers.

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