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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ice Creams Melt,Balloons Fly,and I Always End Up Holding Nothing in My Hands

I once read a quote about how a child in the park is holding an ice cream cone in one hand,a balloon in the other.Standing under the sun,the child accidentally loosens her grip on the balloon,thus it flies away,leaving the child crying over the loss.While she spent her time wallowing in misery over the lost balloon,the ice cream in her other hand remained unnoticed until she felt it melting because of the heat.Now,she is left with nothing.She cold have been comforted by the ice cream but she never gave it a chance and just let it melt away,all the while crying over the balloon.

The lesson?Never take anything for granted.

When I fall in love,I become stupid.Stupid enough that I wouldn't let go even if it starts the end of the world.When I fall in love,I do everything.My world would start revolving around the only person who means everything to me.

In my opinion,love makes people self centered.The only thing we care about is the person whose smile makes our day.The person whose words we abide like law.The person whose scent we want to breathe.People like me are like that little girl in the park.Their loved ones may be like the balloon,a red one.Who is the ice cream,then?The ice cream is the most pathetic yet romantic person on earth.The one you wouldn't want to hurt,but end up hurting anyway,because you can't give them what they want.Because you let them melt in the sun.Because you can't let go of the balloon.

The Little Girl

I stand alone,looking up in the sky.I see my balloon flying high.I cried,but it just passed me by.I tried to reach for it bit it is much too far now.Too far,I can't catch it now.Too far,my balloon is just a dot in the sky.Too far,it got so high.As I threw it my last loving glance,I whispered to myself,"there went my everything."

Once upon a time,I fell in love.I would have said I am a princess who met my prince at a faraway castle,but I most definitely am not.I would love to say "and we lived happily ever after",but my story is not a fairy tale.Mine is one that ends up tragically.

Just like the little girl in the park,I paid attention to my lost balloon,knowing that the ice cream is still there.I needed to grieve over something terrible so I did.Love is a complex emotion.It is wonderland when shared by two,but sometimes it just doesn't go that way.Someone falls out while someone's still in.Someone says he has to leave,because he isn't in love anymore.He left you alone in Wonderland,and suddenly,all the princesses died.All the castles got blown away and the flowers withered.Snow White was deserted by the Seven Dwarfs,and Belle's beast was nowhere to be found.Suddenly,it's just you.The land of fairy tales and Knights in Shining Armors in your head became a witch's cave.Everything colorful went gray,even the rainbow deprived you of the pot of gold.He leaves you alone with just a goodbye and a broken heart,and what could you do?You deny yourself the fact that he doesn't love you anymore.You feed your heart with insanity and false hopes,expecting him to come knocking on the door.But he wouldn't.

The pain won't let you move.It wouldn't heal.Time will make you used to the pain until you can bear to live again.But you still miss your balloon.You still stand there,under the heat of the scorching sun,sweat and all under your palm,your head tilted up the sky,following his path.You never paid attention to the melting ice cream in your hand because he is still there.You are not hungry or thirsty so you don't need him yet.

Finally,the sun rose higher up in the sky,burning your throat with a strong desire for something cold.You reach out to your ice cream and what do you find?A pool of sticky milk and cheese-it is already melted.Now that your ice cream is already gone,you miss it.You blame yourself for crying over a balloon that wouldn't come back down to you.You wish you didn't waste your time ignoring the ice cream in your hand,waiting for you to turn to him for comfort.He is gone now,because he got tired of waiting for you.

The Balloon

She loves me.I am her everything.What I want,I get.She holds on to me like her life depended on it.She tied her hand to the string that connected us.She tied herself to me.But it is my nature to go and find where I belong.I don't want to be stuck there tied to her.So I flew away from her.Looking down,I can see her tears.They sparkle at the edge of her cheek as the sunlight kissed it.I saw her cry,but I can't go back now.I have to fly,so fly I did..

Once upon a time,I fell in love.She was the princess and I was the frog.Without her,I wouldn't have been me.She made me the best that I can ever be.She kissed away all the ugliness in me.She gave me her eyes,her heart.I was enjoying the spotlight.But I found a better audience,so off I went and left her alone.

I know how miserable she'd become after I went away.She refused to be comforted,and she waited only for me.But I had no plans of coming back.I'm enjoying the way I am free now.No limits,no boundaries.I can feel the air blowing through my hair.It felt nice to be free.I do not regret anything.

Before her,I was a nobody.She was my hero.She gave me everything,but everything's not enough.I need more,and she has nothing more to give,so I escaped.

I decided to look for something or someone better,so off I flew,destination unknown.I went higher and higher,opting for the blinding sunlight.As I got nearer,I was burnt,but I didn't mind.I wanted to go to the top,the highest I can achieve.Like gravity,the grandiose of that light pulled me closer.Closer,I can feel the glory.I pushed myself closer to victory's surface-finally I succeeded...I heard a pop,and the last thing I know,I'm on my way down the ground.

The Ice Cream

It was a hot afternoon.She laid her hands on me and for a second,I forgot everything.She was standing there,holding on to me when a man approached her and gave her a balloon.A shiny red one,I reckon.Instantly, her face lit up with the sweetest smile I've ever seen.From that moment on,I was forgotten.

Once upon a time,I fell in love.In a story like this,I would be the ice cream-the biggest loser of all.I was meant to make her feel better when she is hurt.Her balloon just flew away-stupid bastard-and that made her cry.The sound of her weeping broke my heart,or my cone,I should say,because I'm the f*cking ice cream.

I heard her faint sobs and I couldn't do a thing about it.She was hurt,so I gave her some time to cry.I patiently waited for her to move on and accept the fact that he was gone,but as time passed by,it got worse.

What hurt me most was the fact that I was there,I could've made her feel better but she didn't give me any chance to.I was knocking,but the door was never opened,it was even bolted.Still,I waited outside,for her to call me and ask me to make all the pain go away.I could've done that.I whiled away the time,hoping one day she'd look at me.I was the ice cream.I was screaming at her to look at me,have a taste and she'll feel better.I was asking her to see me for the first time,I wanted to make her see that I'd consume myself to soothe the pain she felt,but she grew distant.

I promised myself I'd wait.I said unlike the ice cream,I would never melt.I would always be there for her.But I was the ice cream,and when you're the ice cream,you have no choice but to melt.

For the last time,I waited for a chance to love her.The pain was like the heat of the sun-it burned my heart.All the pain I felt in waiting was buried deep inside me,melting the ice cream in me little by little,until one day,she finally gave me the chance I'd been asking for so long.She looked at me with love and I saw my reflection in her eyes.By then she knew the answer.She can't consume me anymore.The pain had won and I was melted.

It felt so good to melt in her hands.
At least she knew I waited-she's just too focused on the balloon that she never noticed me before the sun turned me into someone I don't recognize.

************************************************************************
Representations:

The Little Girl-a girl who fell deeply in love with someone who doesn't love her back and takes for granted that other someone who loves her.In the end,she realizes that she loves him too but she realized it a little too late.

The Balloon-The lucky bastard with whom the girl fell in love with.He takes her for granted and moves on to find someone better but in the end,he ends up being hurt,just like what he did to the girl.

The Ice Cream-The other guy who loves the girl so much but is taken for granted.He waits for her but she doesn't give him a chance till it's too late.He lets himself be destroyed by pain and that ends up his love for her.When he has finally decided to go,the girl then decides to give him the chance he was asking for but it's too late.

**Ending:

They did not live happily ever after but they all learned their lessons. >_~

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