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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Tell Me, What About Us?



I'm crying right now because of this song. Perhaps listening to it while it's raining and I'm lonely was not the best idea after all.

Well....I just want to be in love again. I guess I'm in love with the idea of being in love, but trust me. This is more than flowers and late night phone calls. This is more than holding hands in theaters, or cuddling up while rain pours outside. This is more than anniversaries and long walks in the shore. This has something to do with knowing you're not alone. That someone will be there to hold your hand when you have to get a tooth pulled out of your face. It's the feeling of knowing that someone genuinely cares, whether you like it or not.

Nothing's wrong with being single, I mean, I actually enjoy the freedom most of the time. But there also comes a time when I just want to receive a text message from someone special, asking about my day, about how I feel at a given situation...Somebody to share my craziness with, and in spite of it all, I know he'll see me through.

It's just hard to find guys like that nowadays. Yesterday, my tweets were peppered with the hashtag #iwantaboy, then I ended up being lonely. It's just that, when you have had something so precious and you let it slip away, leaving you gashed and wounded, and scared of falling again because you don't know if it would be as special as the previous one, because you are wondering if anything could be better than the best. That's what I'm feeling like right now.

Anyway, I'm not like rushing or anything. I can handle myself. I'm so used to watching movies alone, that is my hobby, and I really don't think it bothers me to see happy couples walking hand in hand. It just brings back memories I'd rather forget. There's this empty hollow hole in my heart that only love can fill.

In the mean time, I think I'm stuck in spending my life with my awesome friends. I'm thankful for having them in my life. They make me forget everything that scares me, every dream that did not come true, and every single heartbreak.

I'm willing to wait for that guy who will sweep me off my feet. He, who will twirl me around even when there's no music. He who will kiss me in the rain. He who will ditch game night just so he could go stargazing with me. He who is not perfect, but will always strive to be the best version of himself, not only for me, but for everyone around him.

He who will make me smile to myself and sigh even when no one else is around. <3

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