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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

You Always Make Me Believe That There's Nothing In This World I Can't Be


Earlier tonight,before I left for work, I posted a photo of myself in Twitter, saying "I'm fat :(" because I was really feeling fat. Of course, my friends disagreed...Guess who else disagreed?

Yes, Caitie Uhlmann. One of the few women I really look up to. I'm still dumbfounded.

"Don't ever say you are fat...you are beautiful, never forget that or let anyone tell you anything different."

That's what she sent me through a DM,and I was like O_o. I swear it took me some time to actually collect myself together and compose a reply.

You know,I felt really great when my friends told me that I actually am beautiful. Well,to be honest,I really don't believe them that much. My best bud even said once that I was the only person he knows who hates compliments. Truth is,I love them.Who doesn't, right? It's just that...I don't know,I'm not used to being complimented,that's why I feel awkward when I receive one,because I don't know how to react,and I am not sure if I really deserve it.

But tonight,I feel really beautiful. Not physically,okay? But there's something that changed inside me.It's like there's a glowing ball of light in my heart that makes me feel giddy. It's like a million fireflies are flickering their lights, it's like a ballerina is dancing within me.It's so hard to explain...It's just that...It's like her words cut right through my flesh (in a good way, of course) and I started bleeding rainbows. My gloomy mood earlier has been cast off, and finally,I'm a free leaf,feeling as light as the wind.

I don't know what's wrong with me,but when it's Caitie or Andrea or any one of their friends that tells me that I am beautiful or sweet, I can't help but believe them,and I get inspired every single time to do all I can to become to others what they are to me--an inspiration.A drive to make the most of myself,not only for myself,but also for the people around me.

I wish Caitie and Andrea know how much their words could affect me.My world is like a special recipe,and their words of encouragement are the secret ingredients. With them, life tastes better,rare,precious. If only I could actually make them see how much they really mean to me, how just the knowledge of their existence on the other side of the world is enough to comfort me and lull me to the sweetest slumber.

I can't believe how lucky I am to have come to know them in my life.All I know is that I aspire to be someone as thoughtful,as precious,and as inspiring. I wish they have even just the slightest idea of how grateful I am to them. The world has some precious treasures in California.

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