Tangled Faith,Twisted Fate

I need a hug just about now. What I'm feeling now is what I am supposed to feel when someone says goodbye and I know for sure that they are not coming back, no matter what.

I should be asking questions. I should be asking why, just when we all think we have someone for good, they'd shut the door right behind them, and leave you crying in the middle of the night.

Pain is tricky. It used to make me feel like I'm the most unfortunate person on Earth. Now, I've got it all. So after crying it all out, I'm smiling again, trying to convince myself that tomorrow, I'll be fine, although I know a lot better than to believe my own lies.

Of course,it hurts. It's all so sudden that for a moment,I went on rubbing my eyes, pinching myself, convinced that it was all a bad dream, but I was awake. I was in reality, and how I detest reality.

Love is just a cycle. I've taught myself how to move on long before all of this even began,that's why I'm not at all bad now.It's okay, because I understand that maybe it was the right love at the wrong time,or maybe we were just trying too hard.I knew all along that this was too good to be true,much like you were to me.Someone like you exists only in my dreams, and maybe, I was asleep the whole time, and now I have to wake up.

Or maybe it was just me being tired of this redundant cycle of love. You know, happy,sad, happy,sad, hello, goodbye. It always boils down to goodbye, because people always make me choose between love or friendship. If you were smart enough,you would have known that I would never want to choose. You would have known that nothing tops family and friends,even if I have already fallen for you. If you were smart enough,you would have known better than to unclip my wings,because suffocation and possibility of pain always make me take the nearest exit out.

But I love you...Do you know that? Do you even care? I love you, and I will always do... But I am tired...Don't believe them when they say true love doesn't get tired. Even machines need to take breaks every once in a while,what more an ordinary human heart that bleeds everytime a wrong word is said?

I don't know what happens next. Maybe I'll have to paint on that smile and as per usual,make myself believe that there is nothing missing..