The Worst Way

They say the worst way to miss someone is when you're right beside him,and yet you can't have him.

I once laughed and asked, how could you miss someone when he's right beside you? To me,that sounded silly. Because back then,everything was simple.

Back then, I never had any reason to miss anyone when they are sitting inches away from me.All the gaps could be bridged by a hug,or a simple conversation.I've never dreamed this would ever happen to me.

The moon...It's so beautiful tonight, especially because I'm watching it from this shore. Memories are tricky. I could do with less of them,but tonight,they're here,flooding my mind, reminding me of what I have left behind.

There was that one time you twirled me around in your "boys only" cabin. There was a sign at the door saying "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" in your sloppy handwriting,but you let me in. And then the afternoon we chased each other in the rain. You might think things like these have walked past my memory, but the simplest of things can be the most deceiving sometimes. I still remember the two of us locked in the basement because our friends thought it was the best way for us to talk things out. And the image of you twirling my hair around your finger is still my favorite scene to replay on my mind,because of the gentle way you smiled and closed your eyes.Sometimes,I'd still think I hear your voice calling my name,the sweetest sound I've ever heard,then I would learn that my mind was yet again playing tricks on me.

The bottomline? I miss you. I miss everything about you, but that was because you were gone,and I left you.That was because these memories are hunting me,in my dreams,or even when I am wide awake.Still,I taught myself how to get over it all-your smile,the way you poke my noise right after every...conversation,and those occassional moments we lay our feet flat against each other,just to see if they,too,like our hands,were made to fit each other perfectly.

They say the worst way to miss someone is when you're right beside him,and yet you can't have him.

A tear falls,unnoticed,and the moon is my only witness.I sob as silently as I could,and thankfully enough,my cries are drowned with the sound of the waves curling on the shore.

Right here,watching you watching the ocean,glittering like liquid silver as moon beams shine on the surface,I miss you.

You sit there beside her,where I could have been,and all I can do is watch you from afar,cause right now,that's all I can do.

And now I know,I'm missing you.In the worst possible way.