Twilight And It's Characters-In Five Sentences

For years now,we are all obsessed with Twilight. Anything Twilight. Sure,we do know all the characters but what about the others? The non-twi-hards who don't have any idea who Bella or Edward is? Well, here, let me help them. ;P In five sentences each, I will introduce you to Twilight. ;P

TWILIGHT

Twilight is a romance novel created by Stephenie Meyer who dreamt of a girl and a vampire in the meadow. It's main characters are Bella and Edward but for me it's really Alice and Jasper, cause I said so. It is a saga made up of four novels, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn, respectively. If you don't know anything about it yet then I am so sorry for you. Many fan girls will aspire to kill you.

EDWARD

Edward is a vampire,more than a hundred years old, who falls in love with a clumsy girl (see: Bella). He is strong and romantic and has really nice hair. He has a family, too, though they are all adopted. He likes Volvo and for him Bella smells really really good. Oh, and he sparkles.

JACOB

Jacob Black is Bella's best friend and Edward's biggest rival. At first he has long hair but maybe because Edward looks gorgeous with his locks,Jacob decided that he would be gorgeous too if he cut his hair,so he did. He's a creepy stalker (he jumps into bedrooms quite easily) but not as creepy as Edward. He likes naps and he can't keep a secret. He runs around topless, all the freakin' time.

BELLA

Bella Swan started all this Twilight craze because the novels were told from her point of view (Jacob shares his POV in Breaking Dawn). She's the clumsiest girl ever made and she likes making out A LOT. She's a bad liar but she still tells lies. She likes papercuts, and later on, she cuts herself with a sharp rock cause that's how she rolls. She mumbles and blinks a lot.

ALICE

Alice is Edward's adoptive sister and Bella's best friend. She's always hyper like she just drank a liter of Coke or something, and she LOVES shopping. She can see the future based on the decisions made, but she can't see the future of the werewolves. She can pitch for baseball like crazy, and she likes walking on tree tops. Guilty of stealing a yellow Porsche.

JASPER

Jasper Whitlock Hale is Alice's husband who used to be the youngest major in a Confederate Army in Texas. He has a sexy Southern drawl and a sexy voice. The production made him wear horrible wigs but he certainly pulled off the look, and proved to be the sexiest and most beautiful vampire ever (in my eyes,okay?). He growls at the smell of blood resulted by a silly papercut,and even when he growls he is sexy. He gets to ride a horse and kiss Alice Cullen, which is totally fine with me (okay, NOT.).

ROSALIE

Rosalie Hale was described by Bella as the most beautiful face on Earth or something like that. She acts like a beeeyotch toward Bella most of the time because Bella is human who wants to be a vampire while she is a vampire who would give everything to be human because she wants to have a child. She pretends to be Jasper's twin sister in Forks. She's the wife of Emmett Cullen. Her favorite expression: my monkey man.

EMMETT

Emmett likes arm wrestlings and other things that let him prove that he is strong. He's goofy. He likes bears for food because a bear mauled him before Rosalie found him in the woods. He likes teasing Bella and Edward and the rest of the family. He and Rosalie destroyed a number of houses while having S (soup).

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That's all because I'm tired. More to come (maybe) soon. I do not mean to offend anybody here,okay (sorry to the fans of Twilight who might get mad--I am a Twilighter too! This is purely for fun) Thanks.