All The Way Back Where I Belong

I don't know why,you always seem to give me another try...

For days now,I've been wanting to run away...Run away and never come back to this place I call home.Now that I'm sober again,I think I've been too selfish and stubborn.

They don't even have any idea about the things I write here,the things I complain about,cause day by day,from the moment I open my eyes till I close my bedroom door at night,I hide behind a happy smile.I don't give them a chance to see what's wrong,cause I don't want to start a confrontation.I've been so immature.

We're not the kind of family who hug each other just because.We don't talk about love,and we don't deal with our emotions.I don't know why,but we're not affectionate.There are times when all I need is a hug but no one would give it to me,so I'd curl up in a ball and hug my knees to my chest,hoping that somehow,someday,we would be all we want to be...and then maybe we could start being happy.

I've always complained about the smallest of things--what we have for dinner,wrinkled shirts,warm drinking water.I am spoiled,that's why even if I have the best things,I take them for granted.It can never be enough and I will never be fully satisfied,which is a bad thing.

Now that I've woken up from 19 years of a dream where I became a princess whose words are rules,I've decided to change for the better.I've always given people what they deserve...Now,my family deserves good words and praises for being so patient with me,and I would not take that away from them.

So from the bottom of my flower shaped marshmallow heart,I,the girl who sold the world,would like to say thank you,thank you to my family for putting up with my brattiness (it's not a word though) and sticking with me even when I'm being rude.I appreciate it that even after all the mistakes I did,you stood by me.You forgave me and helped me start again.I'm sorry for overlooking these things that you did just so I could have a better life.I now understand--you only want what's best for me.

Because I spent all my time cursing at the rain,I didn't notice the rainbow it drew over the horizon.Now I see how beautiful my life is--how it always has been if I just let the minor glitches off,and it's all because of you.

I'd stop running away...

These faces and these places are getting old,so I'm going home.