I stayed up again last night,talking to Vicky on MSN.I don't know how I would live anymore if Vicky and Louise go out of my life,seriously.
Back to the topic,we had this very honest conversation about our strangely intertwined lives.Two girls,living on different sides of the world,tied to similar fates.
We are both passionate about writing,friends,and family.People who only see us but don't bother to look closely will probably say we're typical girls who love to laugh and enjoy life as it is easy for us.Wrong.
Most of them would never know what lies behind our chipper mood.I love making people happy,encouraging them to do what they want,telling them that they're doing great,seeing all the good things in every person--but I don't practice what I preach.
When I changed the URL of this blog,people came up to me and asked me if I deleted it.I asked them why they had to know,and their answers were almost the same: they like reading what I write.I must admit that it made me feel happy,knowing that somehow,someone takes interest in what I want to say.Still,I was surprised,cause I don't see why they would even bother reading.I believe these works are all worthless,anyhoo.
At least,I'm making them happy,right?Yes.I love seeing other people happy,especially when I am the reason behind their smiles.A friend even fondly calls me "Savior" because she says that's what I am to her.Try as I might,I can't be as perfect as people assume me to be.
Just because I come out strong doesn't mean my knees don't shake,and tears don't fall.They do,of course they do.I'm also human,after all.Even if you see me as a hero,I am also vulnerable.I also get hurt...and sometimes,I wish someone would take the time to ask if I am okay,because I need to be saved,too.
Don't tell me your life is a wreck.Believe me,it isn't.If you knew Vicky and I,you would even think you're lucky.We're having it the hard way.It's not easy to fake a smile when inside,all you want to do is cry.
Go on...Go on wishing that you have my so called fairytale life.I wonder how long it would take for you to realize that I have no fairy Godmother here.Just when you thought you're the most cursed person on Earth,you met me.And you would know...
It's not easy to be me.
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