I think I need to find myself.
I've changed a lot,and people are starting to notice,especially my friends.
I don't know how,where,or when it all began...But I've definitely lost my old self,and I want it back.Not because nobody likes the new me...But because I don't like how I turned out to be.
I could not care less if people don't like me or my attitude.It is not my job to please them in the first place.Of course,nasty comments hurt but why would I let their words bring me down?After all,I live in a world where I bend and mold words.I can change them and turn them into something good,whatever bad they say.
When I deal with these people whose ideas of having a life is to bring a girl down,I just remind myself that if there is someone who knows me best,that someone is me.I live,eat,laugh,talk,and sleep with myself every single second of the day,so why would I care what they say?If it would not make me feel better,I'd let it enter one ear,then exit the other.That way,they'd never win,and words would never betray me.
As for the change in me that I hate...My friends seem to hate it too.I think it drove some of them away.I know I must be sad and wallowing,but I am not.I just figured out who my real friends are.Now I know who among them only loves me when I'm sunny and bubbly,and who stays even when I am moody and pessimistic.I will bring back my old self,but I don't think the eliminated friendships will ever find their way back to my heart.
When trust is broken,even if you kill yourself trying to fix it,it will never be the same.
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