Soooooo I think I have a new favorite song.
I can't stop smiling on my way home because this song was playing on my PSP. I was shamelessly singing along, even when a neighbor was standing near me,I couldn't care less.
Anyway,so today was my Mom's birthday. After school,I bought prepaid credits to text her a birthday greeting.I was walking peacefuly to 7 Eleven to get some Coke,when somebody called my name. I whirled around to see my old pal, Karen.I once wrote a post about her here.Anyway,so yeah I bumped into Karen,and we stayed in 7 Eleve for a couple of minutes to catch up. God, I missed her. I kind of regret shifting schedules, but I can't do anything about that now. What matters is that we talked,and nothing has changed between us.
Part of me is happy right now because there's a reason to be happy. But I decided not to talk about that here that much.I want to keep private whatever it is that I have right now because the world doesn't have to know...Only we do. I just...I can't explain it.I'm perfectly contented with whatever I am in right now,I guess that says it all.
As I have mentioned,it's my Mom's birthday and I texted her this afternoon. I've been waiting all day for some reply but I still haven't got any.I have a feeling she's mad at me,cause she's been calling these past few days and I wasn't able to answer any.Maybe she thinks I was ignoring her calls,but the truth is,my phone was in silent mode,it always is,she knows that.She calls at the most random hours,and I am not a phone person...Most of the time I do not even know where I put my phone,so I really didn't ignore the calls on purpose.
This hole in my heart is like screaming at me that our relationship (if we even have one) is falling apart. I really want nothing more than save it...But she doesn't seem to be working with me. Still,I can't just give up on it.
For all it's worth,I want to fight,to fight for my Mom,for her love,and a little affection. She thinks my sister and I only remember her because of her money, but we do not even get any of her money.I don't know what happened in the course of eleven years, but from the looks of things, it seems like it's all about money. Money, power, money, more money. I don't need so much money,you know?
Aside from that,I have no more worries. I feel calm and a little collected now.I would not let my emotions control me anymore. Some people have it worse...So I don't have the right to complain. It does nothing good...especially when my friends feel guilty about me being sad.It makes me feel selfish...
Speaking of friends...my European time based clock fell off the table today. It broke. I turn to it when I need to know what time it is in England and Ireland..Well,it's gone now.I really hope SHE didn't purposefully break it.She has the tendency to get jealous of my internet friends...
Lastly,it's raining all night. I've watched The Wedding Singer..I love Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler together like no joke!!! Oh, and I cut my toe. Accidentally. With a sharp rock.
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