Let me sleep, for when I sleep, I dream that you are here...
Today,it's exactly one week before your birthday. I wish you were here, physically. In spirit, I know you are, you always will be...But that's just not enough.
It's been six years. I can't believe how I managed to get on my life without you.Maybe because we were never really that close, but despite that, I miss you.
Remember when you said a boy who would want to be with me would first have to face you?I want that.I want that to happen.I was thirteen back then.I never really paid attention...Now I'm longing for all those days I took for granted. I want to bring them back...If only it could be done, I'd do it for sure.
So many things have changed since you've been gone.There is not a day that I don't think of you,I'm pretty sure you know that.My grief will never subside.I miss you so much...
School's always a burden.You know why...You know why...It hurts too much.I always fake a smile when they introduce me to those people,and I wonder how that feels.How does it feel,Dad,to cling to your arm and smile as I introduce you to my friends?I never experienced that...And it hurts...A lot...
Sometimes I question God. Why is my life like this...?Mom was never around, you're all we have, and you too, were gone. How do you feel,Dad?Seeing her with another man is like agony for me...I know she deserves to be happy...But what if it hurts us?I don't want you replaced...It just makes it clearer that you are gone.I can't accept that.Until now,I'm holding on to a fantasy shield that I've created for myself a long time ago.In that alternate world, you're alive. You're just not around, but you're alive. I can reach you through letters.I can talk to you on the phone...Not like this...
Dad,are you watching me as I sleep?Can you see how I've grown?You used to be so proud of me...You used to buy me ice cream cones and drive me to school. You were so mad then, Dad. You hit me with a belt when I was almost crushed by a truck on the highway. Back then, I hated you cause i thought you didn't love me.Now I understand how you must have felt.You were scared of losing me...You were scared of dealing with the kind of pain I'm feeling now for losing you. Six years, Dad. I'm longing for you...
My mind is filled with so much memories of us together. I can remember you clearly. I miss you.I miss those days when I would wait for you to come home from work and you'd bring home random things for me--a protractor, a tennis ball, a walking doll. Our life back then was very different. It was very simple. We didn't have much money, but we were happy.
I wish you were still here. I wish I could ask for one more ice cream cone. One more pack of cheese its. One more protractor. One more dozen of pencils. One more word,Dad.Call me daughter one more time. Just one more goodnight kiss...And then I'll take it all...
One more chance to be a daughter to you...As soon as I've fulfilled it,I promise...
...I'll take the road to acceptance.
Advanced Happy Birthday,Dad. I love you...In my heart,we're a happy family...We always will be...
It's been six years. I can't believe how I managed to get on my life without you.Maybe because we were never really that close, but despite that, I miss you.
Remember when you said a boy who would want to be with me would first have to face you?I want that.I want that to happen.I was thirteen back then.I never really paid attention...Now I'm longing for all those days I took for granted. I want to bring them back...If only it could be done, I'd do it for sure.
So many things have changed since you've been gone.There is not a day that I don't think of you,I'm pretty sure you know that.My grief will never subside.I miss you so much...
School's always a burden.You know why...You know why...It hurts too much.I always fake a smile when they introduce me to those people,and I wonder how that feels.How does it feel,Dad,to cling to your arm and smile as I introduce you to my friends?I never experienced that...And it hurts...A lot...
Sometimes I question God. Why is my life like this...?Mom was never around, you're all we have, and you too, were gone. How do you feel,Dad?Seeing her with another man is like agony for me...I know she deserves to be happy...But what if it hurts us?I don't want you replaced...It just makes it clearer that you are gone.I can't accept that.Until now,I'm holding on to a fantasy shield that I've created for myself a long time ago.In that alternate world, you're alive. You're just not around, but you're alive. I can reach you through letters.I can talk to you on the phone...Not like this...
Dad,are you watching me as I sleep?Can you see how I've grown?You used to be so proud of me...You used to buy me ice cream cones and drive me to school. You were so mad then, Dad. You hit me with a belt when I was almost crushed by a truck on the highway. Back then, I hated you cause i thought you didn't love me.Now I understand how you must have felt.You were scared of losing me...You were scared of dealing with the kind of pain I'm feeling now for losing you. Six years, Dad. I'm longing for you...
My mind is filled with so much memories of us together. I can remember you clearly. I miss you.I miss those days when I would wait for you to come home from work and you'd bring home random things for me--a protractor, a tennis ball, a walking doll. Our life back then was very different. It was very simple. We didn't have much money, but we were happy.
I wish you were still here. I wish I could ask for one more ice cream cone. One more pack of cheese its. One more protractor. One more dozen of pencils. One more word,Dad.Call me daughter one more time. Just one more goodnight kiss...And then I'll take it all...
One more chance to be a daughter to you...As soon as I've fulfilled it,I promise...
...I'll take the road to acceptance.
Advanced Happy Birthday,Dad. I love you...In my heart,we're a happy family...We always will be...
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