Tonight,I remember him.
Sitting under the stars,looking at the brightest one,I'm holding on to his promise.
"I'm always with you..." He said. And even now he's gone for weeks, months, I'm not giving up.
I threw another crumpled paper on the trash. Miss. My bedroom floor is strewn with crumpled papers. I'm writing to him again, like I always do. Tonight, my pen is being stubborn. It would blot, or spread splattered ink, ruining my letter. Oftentimes I spell some words incorrectly, so I decide to start a new. No way would I send him a letter with erasures. He only deserves to read perfectly handwritten ones.
So again, I scribbled as carefully as I can. I poured my feelings on the words, making sure I'm not holding the pen way too hard. I did my best to practice this calligraphy to perfection.
Anyway, he's too far away from me now. I couldn't reach him by phone...It's only through letters that we communicate. He answers my letters through the wind...Peculiar, I know.
Two years ago, he asked me to leave him...I didn't. It's all my fault, but how could I? How could I just run away and never look back when I love him this much?
"Run!" He screamed at me that night. I was frozen, my limbs were unmoving as I tried to reach out for him.
It was the night of our third anniversary. We were walking hand in hand, laughing as we strolled the park. It was dark, he was carrying the life sized teddy bear he gave me, while in my arms was a bouquet of red roses.
"I love you." He whispered before kissing the tip of my nose.
That's when we heard them. Shuffling feet, faint laughter. His grip on my hand got tighter as we continued on our track.Nervously, I hang onto him, linking my arm with his.
"When I ask you to run, you should run." He whispered. "Don't look back, no matter what happens, no matter what you might hear."
They showed up round the bend when we were about to turn back.
"Look who's here." Said the one who looked like the leader. "Lover boy."
I knew him. He was my suitor but I didn't like him. He held a grudge that I loved my guy.
"Happy anniversary." They mocked while forming a circle around us. "We have something for you."
"Don't touch her!" The love of my life screeched. "Don't you dare touch a strand of her hair!"
They just laughed. "Choose, motherf*cker." The gang leader kicked his side. "Your life, or her dignity?"
"Kill me." He answered without hesitation.
"No! No!" I screamed, banging my arms against the bad guys. They were strong, though.
"Run!" He instructed. Quickly, I took out my phone and dialed 911. They didn't know it, and I was careful not to make them notice.
"Run, please, run!" He pleaded.
"No!" I answered stubbornly. I couldn't leave him like this.If he dies, we'll die together. That's what I told myself. "I wouldn't leave you here on Sunset Park." I made my voice loud enough, hoping against hope that someone was hearing me on the other line.
"Well then, you have chosen." The devil spat as he kicked my boyfriend yet again. "Death." He laughed evilly.
"Don't look." My angel whispered in a hoarse voice. "i don't want you to remember me like this."
I was crying so hard. Choking in my own breath, drowning in my own tears. "Please, no..."
From a distance, police sirens were quickly approaching. I felt hope. "Thank God, thank God." I muttered under my breath, looking up as I spoke.
Just then, when I smiled at the brightest star,the sound of a gun filled the eerie silence with dread. Inside me, I know what just happened. I know who's gonna cry. I know who's hurt. I know everything but I denied it.
Painstakingly, I looked down, hoping to see it was all just a dream. Fate was cruel, times were hard. Life had a way of making me smile like there's no tomorrow, then suddenly leave me hanging on the edge. I didn't look at him. My white teddy bear had a red spot on its chest. Blood...
Instantly, I cradled him in my arms. He was gasping for air, reaching for my face. I leaned down to kiss him, he bathed in my tears.
"Don't leave me..."
"I'm always with you." He still managed to smile. "Happy anniversary. I'll be the air you breathe..." He took his last breath, then died in my arms.
Since then, I started writing to him. I wrote to him about everything--my life, my problems, the heartaches I deal with, and my day to day struggle to accept the fact that he's gone.
Where are you? I wrote. Why can't I feel you? I feel so alone. I wish you never left me...
It has been a year since that fateful night. In my sleep, I could still hear the sound of the gun.It still gives me the creeps. Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep, wishing he was there. I will never regret not running away when he asked me to. I knew they'd kill him anyway. It just annoys me that they left me alive.
I folded my letter carefully, then tied it to the end of a balloon's string, then gently, with tears in my eyes, I let it go.
I lose track of it in the darkness, but somehow, I know it would reach him. "Happy anniversary..." I whispered helplessly. "Now, more than ever, I wish you were here..."
I lay in bed, unmoving, sobbing tearlessly. I want to hug him, to be able to hold him...To feel him beside me, but I can't do a thing.
The next morning, I woke up to a butterfly resting on my shoulder. Not far from our neighborhood, there were fireworks in the sky. He's here. I know it...
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